The Tale of the One Legged Rum Hopper Traditional Geocache

This cache has been archived.

UBC Geograd: Time to archive. Just not enough time to do maintenance with a 2-year old, so I'll archive as these disappear.

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Hidden : 3/3/2008
Difficulty:
2 out of 5
Terrain:
2.5 out of 5

Size: Size: regular (regular)

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Geocache Description:



Thanks to Hellfish00 and his endless supply of ammo cans, I am serving up another volume of Frivolous Folklore in time for CARW2008! Just when I thought I was done planting caches for CARW....



rohibition in Canada was a time of excess and secrecy. In the early 20th century, the landscape of Canada was dotted with underground taverns filled with honest men looking for a place to imbibe. Many tavern owners and alcohol purveyors made large illicit fortunes during this time, and many of Eastern Canada’s wealthiest families can trace their fortunes to the underground booze trade.

This is the tale of one man, however, whose name is not Thomson, Black, or Bronfman. This man was true Albertan; as Albertan as crude oil and the blue prairie sky. Cycil Klopwich was born on a prairie homestead to parents who had immigrated from the Ukraine. Cycil was an only child, a rarity around the homesteads of Vegreville, where fathers hoped for many sons to tend the farm. Cycil was the pride of his father, and the apple of his mother’s eye. However, he had an unfortunate knack for trouble; his teacher banished him from the one-room schoolhouse that he attended for selling squibs to the other schoolboys. The neighbor children were forbidden from playing with Cycil; their mothers thought that he had a demon or some other undesirable affliction.

One winter afternoon, Cycil was wandering in the forest at the fringe of his parents’ farm. The snow shimmered with its crispness on the spruce trees, and the winter winds had come to a standstill. Cycil noticed a small cave that he had never noticed before; Cycil was curious! He nervously entered the cave, letting out a long belch to test the echoing capabilities of the cavern. What he heard in return, however, was not a burp, but a roar.

Cycil had awoken a mama bear from her mid-winter slumber, and she was rather unimpressed by the trespassing teenager. Fiercely, she lunged at Cycil. He attempted to escape, but mama bear was much quicker. She bit his leg, and Cycil yelped in pain. Fortunately, his father was nearby with his double barreled shotgun. anasthetic tranquilizing dart gun. Papa Klopwich shot the bear, and hung it’s head above their fireplace with his tranquilizing gun, and the bear was relocated to a nature preserve (Thanks, PETA, for the revamped story suggestion)

10 Years Later

Ten years after the vicious attack, Cycil was a young man who still liked to stir up trouble. He had left the homestead near Vegreville and moved to the big city. On Friday nights, he could usually be found at Brady’s Tavern. Brady’s was an illicit basement tavern on the South shores of the North Saskatchewan River, near where Fort Edmonton Park sits today. It was a rowdy place on a Friday night, and Cycil was always the life of the party. His presence was always known; Cycil had lost his right leg in the bear attack, and his distinctive hop-skip made him a distinctive sight. Decades later, marathoner Terry Fox would emulate Cycil’s hopping style in his attempt to cross Canada.

But Cycil was not the epitome of courage and virtue that Mr. Fox exemplified. Cycil Klopwich was out to make a dollar or four, and not to further a charitable cause. Cycil was conniving, scheming, and would sell his mother’s grave for a mickey of vodka. Life could be difficult for a one-legged fool in the 1920’s; he could not perform manual labor, and was certainly not an educated sort. So Cycil did what he knew best; break the law.

Cycil’s father had fashioned him a prosthetic wooden leg after the bear attack. It was made from an old tree trunk, and made him look like a grizzled pirate when he wore his leg (especially with the eyepatch he wore to do his pirate gig, to impress the ladies at the tavern). One afternoon, Cycil purchased a chisel from Homer’s Hardware Store, and began hollowing out his leg. His plan was to hollow the leg out to hide contraband. Each Friday, a shipment of rum arrived on the train from Ontario in a camouflaged ammo can. If Cycil could somehow get the liquor from the train to Brady’s Tavern, he could earn a pretty penny.

Cycil’s plan was ingenious. He flawlessly executed his plan dozens of times, hopping across the High Level Bridge from the train to his destination at Brady’s Tavern. But it wasn’t long before the Police suspected he was up to something.

One spring evening, Cycil had carefully collected the ammo can from the train, stuffed it in his hollow leg, and was hopping his way to Brady’s Tavern. Suddenly, the paddy wagon pulled up alongside him.

“Good evening there, Mr. Klopwich” announced the constable. “G’day there, sir” he politely responded.
“Where y’all headed” asked the officer, unaware of his improper grammar.
“I’m headed to Church, officer” replied Cycil.

The officer knew that Cycil Klopwich had never set foot in a church since he was a child. Also, it was a Friday night, and even the reverend was out on the town for the evening. Moreover, the road he was on led to Brady’s Tavern; he was undoubtedly up to no good. The policeman moved in for an arrest.

Realizing what was about to happen, Cycil ripped off his hollow, wooden leg. With superhuman farmboy strength, he hurled the heavy leg off a bluff. He was quickly arrested, and spent many years in jail. As for the wooden leg with the ammo can inside, legend says that it’s still there (although the liquor was stolen, and replaced by trinkets).

As for the police officer, he quit the forces shortly after to fulfill his lifelong dream of opening a gourmet bakery.

The End


This was a CARW2008 cache. I have removed the CARW-tag, but this fact should alert you to the type of container...

Additional Hints (Decrypt)

Vs lbh svaq gur fubr bs Plpvy Xybcjvpu, lbh funyy svaq uvf yrt.

Decryption Key

A|B|C|D|E|F|G|H|I|J|K|L|M
-------------------------
N|O|P|Q|R|S|T|U|V|W|X|Y|Z

(letter above equals below, and vice versa)


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