Inner Light Spectrum Mystery Cache
simpjkee: Dr. simpjkee M.D. recently left this place of business to open his own practice specializing in alternative medicine. Dr. simpjkee M.D. told me before he left that he hoped to recreate Inner Light Spectrum someday in the future at his new practice, but he felt that right now would not be the appropriate time. Dr. simpjkee M.D. is very busy getting his new practice ready to open so he asked that I, simpjkee, address the cache for him in his absence. As per Dr. simpjkee M.D.'s orders, today, I, simpjkee, stopped by and removed the cache for archival.
I asked Dr. simpjkee M.D. if he had anything to say to all the interns who have found his cache. He answered, "yeah......tell 'em to get back to work!"
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Good morning intern! Nice of you to show up!
I am Dr. simpjkee M.D. I am your new boss. In case you weren't aware (though I'm sure you were), I am a really smart doctor who specializes in everything. I am so incredibly brilliant that I use both a prefix and a suffix when I introduce myself. I spent 10 years in med school mastering in law, medicine, human anatomy, ethics, and all the other degrees that make me sound really smart. Being at such an advanced level of intelligence makes me a very busy doctor at my place of business. So busy that when I have to write a prescription I can not spare two seconds to write legibly in plain english. I am just too important around here. Instead I use an absolutely ridiculous system of abbreviations based on the beautiful language of Latin (another field I majored in). This is the reason why I have been handed imbeciles.....ahem.....I mean, overly ambitious people such as yourself to do the work that I am just too important to spend time doing.
Now pay attention! I only have time to explain this once! Because you needlessly arrived 30 minutes late at 5:40AM instead of 5AM, I have already seen two patients. One is named North and the other is named West.
North was diagnosed with Schizophrenia 25 years ago. After reviewing North's chart and meeting North in person, it is obvious that North has shown incredible improvement. Therefor, I am going to continue, but decrease, North's psychiatric medications: Clonazepam and Haloperidol. However, I am maintaining his medications for side effects: Norvasc and Doxazosin. Here is North's prescription:
Clonazepam 1mg
-sig: V tabs p.o. q.d.
Haloperidol 10mg
-sig: I tab p.o. q.i.d.
Norvasc 10mg
-sig: II tabs p.o. b.i.d.
Doxazosin 2mg
-sig: II tabs p.o. b.i.d.
West has been previously diagnosed with Shizophrenia 5 years ago, and continues to live in the State Hospital. Considering that West has displayed little improvement on his current medications, I am going to try a new medication. For his psychotic symptoms, I will prescribe Clozapine, while continuing Clonazepam, Zyprexa, and Lithium Carbonate. To counter the side effects, I will prescribe Docusate Sodium and Lisinopril. Here is West's prescription:
Clozapine 25mg
-sig: III tabs p.o. b.i.d.
Clonazepam 1mg
-sig: I tab p.o. t.i.d.
Zyprexa 5mg
-sig: II tabs p.o. q.i.d.
Lithium Carbonate 150mg
-sig: II tabs p.o. q.d.
Docusate Sodium 50mg
-sig: I tab p.o. t.i.d.
Lisinopril 10mg
-sig: V tabs p.o. q.d.
Listen up! Turns out this health care center just hired some hot shot pharmacist. Being Dr. simpjkee M.D., I not only am the most brilliant doctor, but I'm also the most straight forward doctor. I talk to my patients man to man and I can not allow my interns or some hot shot pharmacist to make a mistake or undercut my expertise. Understood?!?
Make sure you understand these prescriptions. Being the smart one, I've done all the work. All you have to do is interpret my fancy Latin code abbreviations. Thank me later, but because I am Dr. simpjkee M.D., I have decided to have a little fun so I can weed some of you freshman interns out. Outside my place of business I have placed a secret, but easy to find, pill container. Sure, I'm rich and I could have placed a $100 diamond studded bison tube, but I see no reason why I should risk my wealth on interns such as yourself. My pill container is at N 33 23.XXX and W 111 43.YYY. The total milligrams of medication per day that I prescribed for North is XXX. The total milligrams of medication that I prescribed per day for West is YYY. It is simple as that. Make sure you know the totals and pass them on to this new hot shot pharmacist. Don't make a mistake.
I'm the brilliant one here. I'm the one driving home in the jet black convertable Mercedes to my 10 story Mansion for 1. If you have any questions, or are confused......feel free to send me an e-mail. I would much rather talk to you through e-mail rather than talking to you after you enter the field and make a mistake. (Or god forbid, blame me for a mistake). Of course, that would never happen though right? Because I'm perfect and stuff right?
Now get on it! It's already 5:50AM and I go on break in 10 minutes!!!!!
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