Lame Jokes Mystery Cache

The lame jokes below are missing their answers or their punch-lines. Your job is to fill them in with the correct response. Some of them may be funny -- I doubt it though -- and most of them will make you groan or complain. I'm pretty sure most of them are really old you've heard them dozens of times.

Want an example?

Why is the sky blue?
Because if it was green you wouldn't know where to stop mowing.

So here you go. After you have the answer fill in the blanks.

Take the alpha value where A=1 and Z=26 for the marked letters. The boxes with a hyphen in them [-]add up to form the missing latitude value. The boxes with a vertical bar in them [|]add up to form the missing longitude value. The other symbols [#,'"] are there for punctuation and readability. The # symbol is a space. The correct coordinates are N 40° 25.(sum of all "-" values) W 111° 48.(sum of all "|" values) Get it? Great. Have fun.

Finally, when you log your find, if you feel so inclined and have some lame jokes in your repertoire we'd sure like to hear them.

Thanks, and happy chaching.

1. What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

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2. What's brown and sticky?

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3. Why does a chicken coop have only two doors?

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4. What do you call a fly with no wings?

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5. Where did Napoleon keep his armies?

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6. Why won't a bike stand up by itself?

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7. What do you call a dog with no legs?

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8. Where do you find a dog with no legs?

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9. What do you call a cow with no legs?

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10. "Help, somebody has stolen one of my electrons!""Are you sure?"
    

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11. What's red and looks like a bucket?

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12. What's blue and looks like a bucket?

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13. When ducks fly in a V, why is one side of the V longer than the other?

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14. What is Irish and stays on your patio, even when it rains?

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15. What did the fish say when it hit the wall?

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16. Why don't seagulls fly over the bay?

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17. What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?

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18. What did the Zen master say to the hot dog vendor?

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19. A guy walked into a bar with his giraffe. He ordered a drink, and the giraffe lay down beside him. The bartender barked angrily, "Excuse me, but you can't leave that lying there!""Err," the man said,

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20. What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?

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21. Why are manhole covers round?

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22. What do you call a 30 foot purple dinosaur named Fred who has acne and is scared of penguins?

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23. How far can you walk into the woods?

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24. What color is Washington's white horse?

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You can check your answers for this puzzle on Geochecker.com.