So what makes a lame cache? You know, a really worthless one, a
piece of geo detritus that only the most obsessed or insane would
even try to get. Ah, yes! The numbers! Well, here's a number for
you... zero. That's how many of you should actually look for this
or participate in this absurd challenge. That said, the rest of
this description is for those of you who will categorically refuse
to heed the sternest of warnings.
And the question remains: what makes a lame cache? Birddroppings
certainly set the bar high with his original effort in this regard
(GC25RW3), which reeked of badness through and through. Then the
inevitable sequel made by Great Horny Toads(GC2JXQ5), so lame
because it was even lame at being lame. These are classics of
badness but let's really ponder what sets cachers off on those
delightful rants about terrible caches:
- The coords are off.
- Urban micros suck, especially if they involve lampposts, nanos,
or both.
- The location is bad, too messy, far away, inaccessible, or
urban, take your pick.
- The terrain is either too easy or hard, depending on your
caching proclivities.
- There are just too many places a small cache can hide.
- It's muggle city.
And the list goes on... so for my sequel, I've decided to
incorporate a number of the ideas above and EXPAND on them for my
Lame Cache Challenge (which is NOT a Challenge cache, btw).
- It's not for those who prefer jeep access (No P&G here!)
nor is for those who like a hiking challenge (thus the mediocre
terrain rating).
- It's a magnetic NANO in the middle of the wilderness where
there isn't even metal to attach to. Weak.
- It's on a denuded trail in a beautiful but burned out location.
This whole area reeks of death: dead trees, chopped down landscape,
and eerily devoid of animal life.
- I did a crappy job of triangulating the location so your GZ and
mine might be substantially different.
- There are a stupidly large number of places for this one to
hide, especially considering it's a NANO... in the woods... in a
burned up forest... on fire.
You get the point. So, the "Challenge" (which is not a challenge
cache, let me make that perfectly clear)...
The cache IS at the listed coordinates, more or less.
So go and get it. BUT, if you *really* want a challenge... you can
do the following optional but in-the-spirit-of-the-satire
tasks before retrieving it:
- Create and publish your own cache for the Lamest Cache in the
World. It can be any type of cache you would like but it must be
published and it must suck. Utterly. Completely.
Irrevocably.
- In your description, you must write a detailed account of why
your cache deserves to be considered competition for the utter drek
of a cache I've described above.
- Once you have done this, write a note on this cache listing,
confessing to the the world that have invested time and energy into
this ridiculous, utterly pointless challenge. Include the GC# of
your own listing in this note.
After you have done the above things, go look for my cache.
Naturally, since this isn't actually a challenge cache because it
violates about every rule in the book for challenge caches, you can
just go get it and call it done. But how much fun would that be? Of
course, you are either insane or suffering from OCD if you go after
this cache at all (of course, what does that say about the one who
put it there?). But that's your problem.
Happy hunting!
NOTE: I would love to congratulate tlepinski for his FTF on this
piece of detritus but if I did so, I would be lying.