From: oraclebennett (oraclebennett@gmail.com)
Subject: Re Re Re Re: Evil Cache
Date: November 15, 2012 5:17:47 AM EDT
To: Uncle Steve (unclesteve@gmail.com)
Hey Steve-O
I just wanted to say ciao before I head out to the North Pole for some penguin research. I had heard a dirty rumor that you wanted this cache resurrected and hidden in your favorite spot. So.... you're welcome.
As you can see, I opted to use a container that is big enough for people to actually find it. Maybe.
Not sure what sort of sadists live in this region that they would voluntarily return to this pile of rocks to look for such an elusive hide... but I learned long ago to stop asking questions about you and your crazy geostashing friends.
Uncle Steve, I hate to be the materialistic weasel of the gang, but before I head to my igloo, I did want to bring up some old debts you still owe me.
I am referring to 32 feet of gauze, 19 band-aids and nine refills of Vicodin painkillers.
Also, we had discussed the $32,000 in psychiatric fees I spent because of you. Should I toss in the gas money for the drive out to my shrink's office in Weston? Sure, let's make it an even $36,000 then!
There is also the matter of those 18 dwarf strippers. Hey, that party was for your wedding anniversary, not mine.
I am also hoping you can reimburse me for that can of yellow paint we used on Tweety. Yes, I know Lowes is overpriced. It was still your idea.
I also said I would pay for the firearms I planned to use on Team Crime Scene after that 100-Puzzles-In-A-Day Meltdown... but you volunteered to pay for the bullets. I wouldn't mind if you throw in for the shovels too.
And do not let me forget about the chimpanzee in the pink tutu... oh wait, is this a secure email? Forget I said anything about that. I meant, ahem, "That never happened."
That fruitcake you gave me for Christmas was old and inedible, and it looked exactly like the one I gave you the year before. Did you re-gift it? I sure hope not, since I re-gifted it when I gave it to you. How about a fresh fruitcake this Chunakkah?
Oh, and I just wanted to remind you that your donation check bounced. So when you get a chance be sure to send a replacement check to the Josie Lou Ratley Fund at any Wachovia bank. The fund is maintained at the Wachovia Bank at 2989 PGA Blvd., Palm Beach Gardens, FL 33410. Donors also can go to fortheinjured.com/josie_lou_ratley_info.asp to make an online contribution.... and add more zeroes at the end of that check.
Your buddy,
Hugo Nyow