Bad Elves
It is common knowledge that Elves work feverishly in December building toys, but what isn’t known is what these Elves do for those eleven months of downtime. It’s speculated that they stay at the North Pole and clean up the workshop, repaint the Pole’s red and white stripes, get the Claus’s suit dry cleaned, wax the runners of the Sleigh and take care of the livestock.
Evidence has been uncovered that shows that Elves do much more than this. The evidence shows that they take vacations in out-of-the-way spots, sometimes party hard and, in at least one instance, actually “partied” the house down.
In the sleepy town of Glenburn, Pa there is a lone standing fireplace with only a mystery attached. It is known that the house was destroyed, but the means of the destruction is what is unknown. The wooden walls are missing, but there is no evidence of a fire. There is no debris around the house, which might have indicated a windy demise. The floor and stone portions of the structure are intact and it is only the wooden portions of the structure that are missing. Simply gone. Investigators have classified this mystery as “Unsolved.”
In my own investigation of this mystery, I came across crucial pieces of the puzzle that were overlooked by investigators that might solve the mystery of this “disappeared” house. Around the outside of the house and in the fireplace, I discovered empty beer cans, which might simply indicate a local party except for one thing- the labels on the cans show these particular beer cans came from the North Pole Brewing Co. LLC. In addition, and most damning of all, stuffed inside the fireplace was a large container, about five gallons in size. The bucket is blackened by fire in what appears to be an attempt to destroy evidence. The bucket was packed full of what can only be described as horribly bad Christmas toys and an examination of these toys shows to a rational mind that they could only have been thought up by Elves in a state of drunken revelry, as they seem to poke fun at all that is sublime about Christmas. It’s as if the Elves were blowing off steam after a long hard month of toy building by making fun of their very craft and their Boss. The day after this revelry began, after the booze would have worn off, the Elves obviously tried to hide all evidence of their debauchery and any incriminating forensic evidence. They knew they could make toys from the wooden parts of the house, and so hauled it all away in the Sleigh and, of course, the attempt to burn the misfit toys.
All this is only speculation on my part, but I’m calling on the geocaching community to launch its own investigation into this disturbing matter. I’ve removed the bucket of evidence and hidden it where the Elves won’t be able to find it and possibly destroy the damning evidence it contains. I’ve left coordinates at the scene of the destruction that will lead a savvy geocacher to the evidence, where it can be examined, evidence traded and assumptions made. Children would be invaluable to this investigation owing to their intuitive knowledge of what they would not want to get for Christmas. I’ll be awaiting your conclusions on this matter in your logs. Trade any items you feel you got in error over the years from the wayward elves.
********Congrats to Electrose on FTF ! (Even the unpainted ceramic house didn't temp you?)********