A Bigger GPS! Traditional Cache

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Hedge: Bigger is better, but it's how long you last that really matters.

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Hidden : 7/29/2008
Difficulty:
1.5 out of 5
Terrain:
1.5 out of 5

Size: Size: small (small)

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Geocache Description:


Because the desire for a bigger GPS is both a preoccupation and a source of concern for many men, the GPS enlargement "market" has flourished. So what are the options, what works and what doesn't?

Pills and Potions for GPS Enlargement
There are literally hundreds of adverts and articles on GPS enlargement - your inbox probably suffers as a result. They talk of the amazing, "unbelievable" results that can be achieved. The only honest word here is "unbelievable". Save your money. Nothing currently on the market has a permanent effect on increasing GPS size.

Vacuum Devices for GPS Enlargement
Vacuum devices are often recommended for the treatment of Shrimpy GPS Syndrome. They are also advertised for GPS enlargement because the GPS does increase in size for a time. Vacuum pumps are placed over the GPS. Air is then drawn from the tube and this creates pressure. As a result,the GPS enlarges, but will only stay enlarged for about 24 hours.
There can also be side effects. Blood vessels can rupture causing swelling and pain.

GPS Exercises
As the GPS does not contain any muscles there are no exercises or massage techniques that will enlarge it, (except in the short term)!

Surgery for GPS Enlargement
Surgery offers the only permanent solution for enlargement of the GPS. Through surgery, the GPS can be visually enlarged, usually by just over an inch. The surgeon will cut the ligaments that hold the GPS in its usual position and this allows the GPS to descend. Weights, or stretching devices, are then used for a few months to effect a permanent increase in size. The procedure may result in scar tissue, the antenna will point down, and the wristloop of the GPS will be stretched.

Another surgical technique is known as a dermal implant. Girth and length can be increased by transplanting batteries from other GPSrs to the GPS. As the size of the face of the GPS cannot be increased, the results can be visually rather odd.

Sometimes the distribution of the grafted cells results in clumping and a gives a far from smooth result. Many geocachers will not perform this type of surgery unless there are good therapeutic reasons.

Cost of Surgical Enlargement of the GPS
Costs for this type of surgery, be it unit lengthening, widening or enhancement, ranges from $4,000 to $5,000 dollars and up to $17,000.

Post Operative Complications and GPS Enlargement
As with any form of surgery there are a number of potential risks both psychological and physical. The results of GPS enhancement surgery do not satisfy everyone.

Conclusion: Size doesn't matter, perhaps, as much as accuracy. As with humans, the brain may be the most important sexual organ, so with GPS. Focus on the size of your batteries and keep caching longer, rather than larger.

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Additional Hints (Decrypt)

[Of course it needs to be bigger!] Vg'f Juvgr!

Decryption Key

A|B|C|D|E|F|G|H|I|J|K|L|M
-------------------------
N|O|P|Q|R|S|T|U|V|W|X|Y|Z

(letter above equals below, and vice versa)


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