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The "SamCarter and Fudge" is a neo-Baroque form of classical
music. It is loosely based on its more famous Baroque counterpart,
the "Toccata and Fugue", having in common with that form notes,
rests, key signatures, time signatures, clefs, staves, and the
occasional accidental accidental.
The "SamCarter and Fudge in D minor" shown in the manuscript
below is by the little known neo-Baroque composer and soprano
Eleanor Poussin (1694-?). Unlike Johann Sebastian Bach's "Toccata
and Fugue in D minor" the music has four staves. The three staves
in Bach's masterwork were for the three organ parts: two manuals
and the pedals (in fact, I have a copy with only two staves, which
is a piano reduction of the organ work obtained by simmering for 40
minutes over a low heat). In the Poussin piece, the four staves are
for two manuals, an automatic, and a two-stroke lawnmower. Like
Bach's composition, the "SamCarter and Fudge" consists of two
sections, the "Sam Carter" and the "Fudge". Scholars believe that
in Poussin's case, the Fudge section was actually composed first.
Indeed, in the manuscript, the Fudge section actually begins in bar
1, normally the starting point for the SamCarter section. The Fudge
movement in Poussin's work is characterised by the antiphonic
echoes of discordant notes, fudged by the composer in an attempt to
force the piece into the desired structure, the Fudge form being
notoriously difficult to construct. The time signature is also
another point of contrast between this particular Fudge and the
better known Fugue forms. The Fudge here is in 5/4 time, which is
best appreciated by imagining a pirate trying to waltz while
removing his wooden leg just over halfway through each bar, and
then putting it back on for the beginning of the next. The
SamCarter section of this work is, fortunately, lost. It was
probably destroyed by the composer during the 1708 oil crisis, in
which the price of petrol got so high that she couldn't afford to
run the lawnmower for more than 12 bars. Having put so much work
into the Fudge movement, it seems Poussin felt that the SamCarter
had to go.
Poussin's "SamCarter and Fudge in D minor" is, to date, the only
known surviving work by the composer. There are references in
contemporary historical records to an "Unstarted Symphony", a
"Garotte and Variations", and various religious works including a
series of masses: the "One Tonne Mass in C", the "Five Kilogram
Mass in B flat minor", and the "Two Milligram Mass in D sharp"
which the critics of the day regarded as the most lightweight of
the three. It is widely held that Poussin ceased composing after a
strong negative reaction to her "Suite for SATB Bagpipes,
Flugelhorn and Wobbleboard", and that she began decomposing shortly
after her death.
If you don't like the tenor of this description and have been
sharp enough to resolve this in minim-um time, then breve deeply
and accellerando flat out in search of the cache. It is hidden at
low alto-tude, with no clefs in the vicinity so you can waltz about
blithely in a-chord with the arrow on your GPSr. At this stage I
will not augment the description with any further clues, even if it
makes you crotchety, as I don't want to diminish your sense of
satisfaction.