Warning: If reading this cache page aloud to geomunchkins, geotots, cachebabies etc. please note that the word "stupid" is used to described all of the idiotic things that people do - please replace with the word "silly"; parental guidance is advised.
CAUTION: Caching can be dangerous, proceed at your own risk - lost ticket pays maximum rate, in the event of decreased air pressure, oxygen masks will not drop out of the sky, keep hands and feet in the moving vehicle at all times, don't accept candy from strangers, watch for falling rocks, live electrical wires, wild animals, ditches, cliffs, ticks, snakes and anything else that isn't the cache and could pose a possible risk. By solving the puzzle below, you agree to hold me harmless in the event that you really mess up. No animals were harmed in the making of this cache, only humans. Disclaimer does not cover misuse, accident, lightning, flood, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, hurricanes and other Acts of God, neglect, damage from improper or unauthorized repair, incorrect line voltage, broken antenna or marred cabinet, missing or altered serial numbers, electromagnetic radiation, sonic boom vibrations, customer adjustments that are not covered in this list, and incidents owing to airplane crash, ship sinking, motor vehicle accidents, dropping the item, falling rocks, leaky roof, broken glass, mud slides, forest fire, or projectile (which can include, but not be limited to, arrows, bullets, buck shot, BB's, shrapnel, lasers, napalm, torpedoes, or emissions of X-rays, Alpha, Beta and Gamma rays, knives, sticks and stones, et al.) If you do not agree to these terms don't even think about trying to find this cache.
Everywhere you turn there is a sign or warning label to tell you what to do or what not to do - seems some people do some really stupid stuff these days as evidenced by the signs. Of course we all know about the "Warning: Coffee is HOT!" or "Please remove baby from carrier before sending carrier though airport X-ray screening device". It appears that everyone needs to cover their butt from the infinite number of things that humankind can come up with - boneheaded, ridiculous, unbelievable, Darwin Award worthy things!
The number of disclaimers that the typical American comes across each and every day is astounding - here's some more fine print to add to your daily average.
Not at posted coordinates. Offer valid only at participating locations. Resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. Terms are subject to change without notice. Harmful if swallowed. For indoor or outdoor use only (- on a string of Christmas lights). Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you. Trucks over 4 tons excluded. Your results may vary. Only 1 winner per household. Neither the seller not the manufacture will be liable for any brain damage arising from the use of this product. Employees and their families are not eligible. Do not use if you cannot see clearly to read the information in the information booklet. Eating instructions: crack open shells, discard shells, enjoy the seeds. Get medical attention if symptoms persist for more than 48 hours. Remove infant before folding for storage. Enter at your own risk. Expressed views do not necessarily reflect those of our sponsors. Should you need legal advice, please consult your lawyer. Fasten seat belt while seated. If seal is missing, do not eat (- on said seal). For use by trained personnel only (- on a can of air freshener). The user takes full responsibility for everything and anything that could and/or does go wrong resulting in any kind or type of problem, difficulty, embarrassment, loss of money or goods or services or sleep or anything else whatsoever. You could be a winner - no purchase necessary - details inside (- on a bag of Fritos). Turn off motor before using this product (- on the packaging for a chain saw file). Warning: Shoots rubber bands (- on a product called "Rubber Band Shooter"). Other restrictions may apply. Payment is due by the due date (- on a credit card statement). One size fits all. If condition persists, consult your physician. Not suitable for children aged 36 months or less (- on a birthday card for a 1 year old). This space ( ) intentionally left blank. Objects in the overhead bin may have shifted during flight, please use caution when opening. Not to be used for drying pets (- in the manual for a microwave oven). Exit and Enter Only (- on a door). This side up. Warning Do not drive car or operate machinery while taking (- on children's cough medicine). Official Office use only. Follow all traffic safety precautions. Open box before eating (- on a pizza box). Use only in well-ventilated area. Register has less than $71 after dark. Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly (- on a Halloween costume). Exiting through this door will result in us asking you to leave (- on a movie theatre door). Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish (- on a bottle of shampoo for dogs). Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover (- on a pair of shin guards). External use only. Viewer discretion is advised. EPA estimate only. No small children (- on a laundromat triple washer). This call requires an additional 25 cent deposit. Your call is very important to us, please hold. Only authorized personnel beyond this point. Not intended for highway use (- on a 13-inch wheelbarrow wheel). Enlarged to show detail. Do not iron clothes on body (- in manual for clothes iron). Equipment shown is optional. Guaranteed low prices. Remove clothing before distributing in washing machine. Excludes incidental and consequential damages. Effects include nausea. Short circuit may cause fire. The appliance is switched on by setting the on/off switch to the 'on' position (- instructions for an espresso machine). Warning: May cause drowsiness (- on a bottle of sleeping pills). Equal opportunity employer. Not dishwasher safe (- on a TV remote control). These documents do not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or my dogz. You should have had a V-8. Product will be hot after heating (- on microwave dinner wrapper). Open other end. In the event of fire, push red button or yell - remain calm. Not for use in the shower (- on a hair dryer). Theft of this container is a crime. For comfortable and safe use, please read the Safety & Comfort Guide. It is our policy to conduct inquiries on a confidential basis -- so this may be the only response that you receive. Void where prohibited except where not prohibited. Employees must wash hands before returning to work. Swim at your own risk. Exclusions may apply. Variations in color and texture enhance product's individual character and beauty and in no way are to be considered flaws or defects. Edited for television. Not for use near fire, flame, or sparks (- on an "Aim-n-Flame" fireplace lighter). Supersedes all previous notices. If you do not understand, or cannot read, all directions, cautions and warnings, do not use this product. X-Ray in use.
Note: As per Ground Speak Rules, cache is within 2 miles of posted coordinates - your actual mileage may vary.
CAUTION: Cache details/attributes (Seriously): Small parts, choking hazard, do not put in mouth. Bring your own pen. Snow friendly, but beware of ice. Not available 24/7, but park is open until 9PM - Police take notice. Stealth may be required. Depending on where you park it could be a park and grab, but look both ways before crossing the street. No life guard on duty - no diving. Walk, don't run, unless of course you are going for FTF. Above all - HAVE FUN and, as always, BE SAFE.
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