The Three Mooges: Dairy

Aw'right you knuckleheads...time to kick some friendly bovine butt! I'm racing a couple of wise guys...Moo and Curdley in an all-out, no horns barred mileage race! Loser gets creamed with a pie and cracked on the noggin with a hammer...maybe even smacked upside the puss with a 2x4...

[WARNING: THE FOLLOWING SENTENCE STRUCTURES CONTAIN MANY PUNS THAT MAY CAUSE HARM TO YOUR EYES AS YOU ROLL THEM UPWARD, from the law offices of Dewey, Cheatam and Howe]

A friendly race between friends...the goal is to moove, moove, moove! These cows will get really "mad" if they graze in a pasture too long, they need to see the world! Moo, Dairy and Curdley need to see greener pastures and see if the grass is truly greener on the other side of the fence. They want their pictures taken as they whizz between caches, plop down in another ammobox to get gassed up, as they stampede onward! Don't hold them too long; they need to hoof it as far and as fast as possible.

While soft and cuddly, they wouldn't mind locking horns with some Jersey heifers at the Curl Up and Dye Beauty Salon along the way, as long as it doesn't interfere with the odd job or two the Mooges seem to bungle up. They are good cows inside (some might say prime) with Moo as the brains of the Trio. Dairy, to be frank, can be the wurst brat but is the more moosically inclined of the group. Curdley is sweet on the dames, but can be bull-headed. If Moo weren’t there to remind him the reason he can't see is because his eyes were closed, he'd walk into every barn door around.

Take pity of these three chumps if you find one of them grazing aimlessly; feed them some hay, chew the cud with them but by all means lay down the shoe leather to moove them on. No cow tipping please, we really don't want to have to bring in Shemp and Curley Joe to replace any missing or injured Mooges! (But Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine and Dr. Howard will be in the operating room, just in case)

In the future, the cows might come home...but for now they are free range! Keep `em doggies rollin'!!