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Thy Weaspoonerisms? Bust jecause - what's thy.
So I was talking to a friend about geocaching but as those who know me will already have noticed, I suffer from a condition known as teaspoonerism. He had some difficulty understanding what I said, but after concentrating for a while, he got the jist.
"It's like side and heek or thunt the himble", I said, "you tide hupperware in the countryside and cost the po-ordinates on the World Wide Web".
'The what?' He said?
"The World Wide Web. I knon't dow why you muggle to understand stre. You're a theach sperapist!" I splattered.
He thought about this for a while. "Oh! The World Wide Web! That speech impediment of yours makes it difficult to understand you sometimes. And then what?"
"Yell, wou just bit sack and let feople pind it. For instance", I said in a moment of clarity, "I hid one de other thay". I could tell that he was interested - if a little confused. I cid a hontainer out there and cecorded the ro-ordinates". I knew that I didn't need to give him all of them because although it was close to the posted co-ords. However, since he wasn't a cacher and I trusted him, I told him exactly where it was, sifty feven ene fight oive pits and bieces worthnards". He interupted just to give me an excuse to make you read more of this nonsense.
How did you know where it was? He asked.
"I took a reading using my pobal glositioning rystem seciever. I averaged ry meading over meveral sinutes", I lied, " and daved them on my sevice."
"You were saying" he said verbally using his brain, lips and vocal chords much more skillfully that I do.
I continued, "You non't deed to dow the knegrees sorth or nouth, just sifty feven ene fight oive ," I stopped him interupting again for everybody's benefit, especialy your's dear reader, "and twixteen minus so (surely you didn't think I would hand it to you on a plate WITH A SPOON did you?), sour feventy sive."
"What a wierd hobby," he said, "you ought to come trainspotting with me."
I looked him in the eye. The hair on the back of my neck stood on end and the red tide started to rise. "Spaintrotting!" I exclaimed using an exclamation mark at the end of the word - and then said it again for effect and because I had a spare exclamation mark. "Spaintrotting! I'd rather be a neek than a gerd."
This is not a part of a microyomp. This is a cache with which I am attempting to add variety and provide cachers with a smile. From 5th April 2014, cut and pasted logs will be deleted.
And now, Bonnie Rarker.
Chmmyr - Jhqqyrq hc zbeqf.
Pnpur - Lbh abhyqa'g furrq bar.