IF Greg. Calendar=Periodic Table THEN Today=Cobalt
Most of us can probably recall being introduced to "IF-THEN" logic when working through problems in school, and while taking certain standardized tests. So let's apply it to the title here. Assuming the logic in the title of this event held true, we just missed Iron by one day. We would also only ever have Hydrogen through Gallium (depending on the month), and we would never have Germanium through Oganesson. However, in this case the good news is that we would still have caffeine for our coffee given the molecular structure of caffeine consists only of Carbon, Hydrogen, Nitrogen, and Oxygen. I promise there is some logic here, even if the logic being presented in itself may not be...logical. How about about a clearer example?:
IF you want a fun way to start the week, THEN come to our Monday Monring Coffee Crew Event! 
Thanks to all previous and future Monday Morning Coffee Crew Event hosts who keep this weekly event on our calendars - you are awesome! Event details are below.
Where: In a parking lot! In front of a deli! If it is raining, cold, or otherwise unpleasant outside, we may be inside the deli!
When: Mondays, 5:45AM-6:30AM (except for federal holidays).
It's really a good way to start your week off - the Monday Morning Coffee Crew has been doing this since late 2018, now for over 6 years. You can do it too!