Another fun event brought to you by them hayseeds down at the
We had so much dad-burn fun before, that we wanna do it ag'in and ag'in!!! (cause we ain't got no better sense!)
Ever dreamed of being a star of stage and screen?
Never got that big “Pickin an’ Grinnin’” part in the school play?
Did you miss yer chance at bein’ a Hee-Haw-Honey 'cause yer halter top wern't tight enough?
Well, we can’t help you there, but we CAN help make you the King (Or Queen) of the USCGA Cornfield!
It’s time to get down to the farm, so wear yer best kuntry duds and git ready for a Rootin’-Tootin’ good time!
That's right, pull on those overalls, dust off your dungarees, git yer boots-a-scooting and get all gussied up for a wild night of campy fun fer all! (While dressing the part is optional, do you REALLY want us all pointing at you city-slickers?)
Use whatever navigational means necessary to git yerself to the Upstate and join us at Ol' Man Cooley's "Strawberry Hill!"
There will be several parking options for your wagon, mule, buggy or horse that you rode in on. Once you are there feel free to mix and mingle about the general area of the posted coordinates. Come early, if'n you want, 'cause there's lots to see and do. (I hear-tell there's some might fine ice cream to be had up the hill, and probably fresh from Bessie, herself!) Keep in mind that the bartering for the treats and such ends at 8:00, and they'll close the doors on ya if yer late.
At the prescribed time, (6:00 pm) mosey along the fence, ('cause we couldn't sell enough of them coke bottles to reserve the stage this year!) and mingle where you'll probably hear a great big "Yee-HAW!!!
We'll squander away the time, chewin' the cud until around 6:30 pm, where, one by one, as many of you that can to step up on one of the hay bales, tell us who you is and what part of the kuntry y'all came from. Then, if'n you are brave enuff, hike up yer britches and tell us all one of your funniest, corniest jokes to the crowd.
That's right...YOU get to be the star that you always knew that you could be! So do yer research and git to practicin' in front of a mirror! THIS could be that BIG BREAK!!! (Or not, who knows?)
Please be sure to keep ‘em brief and clean, because there’s apt to be old maids, preachers and kiddies around and you wouldn’t want to be responsible fer settin’ a bad example and sendin’ them down the wrong path, ya’ know...
There are sure to be a few giggles, a lotta guffaws and maybe even a snort or two!
Once we have been through the whole group, and everyone has had their turn, until we are all doubled over, (either from laughter or pain...whatever) we will do it all agi'n, if'n y'all want!
Is that all? Well, if'n all you wanted was a "smilie" fer yer geocache log, then yep, that's it. At 7:00, the offishul event will be complete and you-uns can skeddadle away.
BUT...if'n you wants to stick around fer some more fun, and maybe git to use your noggin a little more, hang on to yer hats! Some of us are even gonna try our hand at the local "Corney- Maze" across the road to top off the day.
Now, lemme warn yee...Ol' Mr. Cooly has really had the cows a-working on a spay-shul "Spookley - The Square Pumpkin" maze in honor o' the fact that October is Bully Prevention Month.
Fer those uned-jecated folks, Spookley the Square Pumpkin is a yard-rats book turn't into one of those movin' pitchers that teaches the importance of being tolerant and kind to others that are different than you-uns. (but not those stankin' revenours!), so make sure to bring a flashlight (ya' know...the kind that holds battries, 'cause a torch might burn the whole field down, and we wouldn't want that!)
Also, keep in mind that their's apt to be some tradin' in order fer you to git lost in the maze, and probably some even slicker tradin' to git yerself out! I hear-tell that it might cost ya about a ten-spot, (a couple bucks less fer the soldiers and little-uns under 8) They don't take no Greenbax trading stamps like yer local Piggly-Wiggly, so take heed!
Wanna know more? Git on a com-pooter or one of those newfangled smart-phones and check out our wurl-wide-webs fancy-shmancy USCGA Facebook thang: https://www.facebook.com/groups/129457952473/