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Difficulty:
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Terrain:
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Size: 
(other)
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Terrain rating is way off, ahhh so what?
Will cachers go after a hide if they know in advance that it sucks? There’s only one way to find out. Lame caches are always a hot topic of discussion on the Geocaching forums. I have worked really hard to make most of mine pretty nice, so here is a real loser, a totally lazy, leaky, rusty, worthless waste of time. I wasn’t able to get all the elements of lameness crammed into a single hide but there are enough here to make it a real stinker…
CRAPPY LOCATION: Of course! No scenic view here. All you can see here is a lovely sewer treatment plant. You might see some squirrels (I think there was a dead one on the road), maybe a few birds, but you won't be able to hear them, not with the obnoxious airport a half mile down the road drowning out chirping.
PLACE TO PARK: No, not really. It's on a faux dead end street and you can't park at ground zero.
COORDINATES: Hey, it was the best reading I could get as I drove by the spot and stuck my GPS out the window as I made a U-turn one night.
WEAR YOUR CAMO GEAR, I DARE ya!: There are people practicing bow hunting, right down the street so go ahead and take your chances, or you could really make it funny and put one of those fake arrow things on your head, and scare the crap outta them. Chuckle, chuckle...
GOOD GPS RECEPTION: The signal is pretty bad here, better wear your aluminum space hat, not sure what they process over there at the plant.
WET LOG: Not yet - but wait until it rains a couple times and even then I probably won’t change it anyways.
CONTAINER TYPE: My recently finished garlic container. Still smells like garlic, but you won’t be able to smell that, there are other smells to enjoy.
SPOILER HINT IN DESCRIPTION: Gotta have that too. Just look in the prickly pine tree by the road. I'm pretty sure it got hung up in there somewhere when I tossed it out the window as I was driving by.
WORTHLESS HINT: See below.
CHANCE OF GETTING QUESTIONED BY NEIGHBORS OR THE AUTHORITIES: Probably - if you're not careful.
POISONOUS PLANTS: There were none in November when I placed it but after several applications of Miracle Gro, I will have a bountiful crop of the itchiest poison ivy in the land growing at ground zero by spring.
WRITING UTENSILS: No pencil. One could probably fit in the container but, I, uh... um, forgot it.
TRADE SWAG: Nope, nothing.
FTF PRIZE: Only if you want one of the rocks or leaves laying near the street. I think I saw a bottle cap there by the fence.
WRONG RATING: Yes, it's way over rated. They don't offer half stars yet. Oh, and no cache size is listed either.
ATTRIBUTES: Of course they are ALL true! :-P
HOW TO LOG A FIND:
You must mention in your log how horrible this cache really is! THE MORE INSULTING THE BETTER. To add to the lameness of this cache, the owner is also a jerk and will delete any joyful, bubbly logs such as “Found it, Thanks for the fun hide”, or “Nice cache”. I will contact finders that post happy logs and offer them the chance to relog the hide.
Feel free to post spoiler pictures of the container or ground zero so this will be even less of a challenge for others.
It's out there mocking you right now... It keeps coming up in your searches... You know you want to find this thing.... probably so you can throw it over the fence. Don't have fun!
Additional Hints
(Decrypt)
[Hi, how are you today? Did you really need a hint or did you not read the cache description? I hate worthless hints. Anyways, don't you just love Fridays and chocolate? My aunt has bursitis and my dog tends to fart alot. This is interesting, if you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
Thanks KingSting (a new friend of mine). Did you know that you can buy batteries, beer, wine, cigarettes, comic books, hot dogs, light bulbs, and used women's underwear from vending machines in Japan? No piece of paper can be folded in half more than 7 times (try it with this cache page since you will probably want to tear it up anyways). Oh and on average, 100 people choke to death on ball-point pens every year - so you better use a pencil from now on. Aren't you glad you had this already decoded so you don't have to do it on location? It is the last nice thing I will do for you, to decode this hint - this hint did help right?]