ALWAYS Lame Traditional Geocache
Clan Riffster: As I can't stomach owning an LPC anymore, this one is going away.
-
Difficulty:
-
-
Terrain:
-
Size: 
(micro)
Please note Use of geocaching.com services is subject to the terms and conditions
in our disclaimer.
You seek the poster child of lame caches, the dreaded film canister in a Wally World lamp post. It don't get any more pathetic than this.
This is a cache for those who prefer quantity over quality.
(from Websters)
Lame: [leym] adjective
1. pathetically lacking in force or effectiveness
3. weak; inadequate; unsatisfactory;
Because geocachers hail from such diversity, it is really difficult to quantify "Lameness" as related to caches. There really isn't any one characteristic that can guarantee that a cache is lame, (other than hiding a film canister in a lamp post at Wally World, which is ALWAYS Lame), however a cache's Lameness Quotient can still be measured, given sufficient consideration, as follows:
Location
The motto for Groundspeak is "The Language of Location". This, more than anything, should be your first clue in determining if your cache is a stinker. Ask yourself, "Why am I bringing people to this spot?" If the only answer you can come up with is yet another mindless smiley, perhaps it's time to rethink ground zero. A waterfall is good. 500 acres of sweltering, exhaust laden blacktop filled with soccer moms in SUV's is bad.
Container Selection
The purpose of a cache is to protect its contents. Whether those contents are a slip of paper covered with the initials of a bunch of geo-nerds, or the contents are high dollar, really kewl swag, is really immaterial. If the container won't protect what's inside, it is lame. Quality containers include ammo cans, Lock & Locks, decon kits, waterproof match containers and bison tubes. Inadequate containers include Gladware, black & gray film canisters, hide-a-keys, Altoid tins and duct tape covered baggies. These may work great indoors, but they simply will not repel moisture once subjected to the whims of Mother Nature.
Hide Style
If a hide style gets copied too often, it automatically becomes lame. Hide-a-keys on guard rails and film canisters under lamp posts require absolutely no imagination to hide or to find, and therefor earn pretty high LQ points. Any hide style that encourages vandalism or otherwise violate Groundspeak's guidelines, (graffiti coords/affixing electrical boxes to structures/buried caches/etc), are bad for the game, and should be avoided like the plague. Some of the best hides utilize subtle misdirection, getting folks to look everywhere but where their GPSr's tell them to look. I consider that a good thing, as it forces me to fire up the ol' grey matter. That is not the case with this hide. The film canister is plopped under the skirt of the lamp post closest to ground zero.
Write Up
Your cache page write up is the medium used to present your cache to the community. You should be proud of your cache, and let your cache page reflect that fact. If there are more words tattooed on Rosie O'Donnell's backside than in your write up, folks might get the impression that you don't care about your hide. A bit of history about your site, or some humorous anecdotes about yourself, seem to go over well with the caching community. On a similar note, spellcheck is your friend.
Hints
Your hint should actually help your fellow cacher find your cache. You can be blunt or creative, so long as the message is relevant. A sure fire way to create angst amongst your fellow cachers is to get them to struggle through 10 minutes of ROT-13, just to discern a hint like, "This one is too easy for a hint". Note: To ensure this cache rates as high as it possibly can on the LQ scale, I've used that exact hint. Don't bother translating it.
Results
If you see a high percentage of single sentence find logs on your cache page, that is a fairly reasonable indicator that your cache may be suffering from a lack of ingenuity. This trend becomes more pronounced if you see a lot of "TNLNSL" entries. At that point, your cache has reached a lameness critical mass, and should probably be put out of its misery.
Patience
Patience is a virtue, especially in geocaching. If you become immediately hooked on this game, (like we did), you may find yourself wanting to run right out and hide a cache, as a means of giving back to the community. My advice? Allow yourself the time to gather sufficient experience before creating your first hide. By far the greatest number of lame hides come from folks with more enthusiasm than experience. Hiding a cache is an art form, and even Da'Vinci needed lessons. When I teach newbies about caching, I always suggest that they find 100 caches before they consider their first hide. This number is entirely arbitrary, yet it accomplishes two things. First, it gives the new cacher a goal to reach, and second, it typically gives them a broad spectrum of cache styles to experience, broadening their horizons.
Exceptions
As with any general rule, there are gobs of exceptions to the aforementioned lameness indicators. A cache can score very low in several of the fields, yet still achieve greatness if enough creativity is applied to the remaining field(s). Two of my favorite hiders, HiddenRock and Discovery Scout, both hid what I consider to be great caches, at Wally Worlds.
Feel free to utilize the attached Lame Cache Log generator to create your log for this hide. You won't hurt my feelings, as I already know it's a stinker.
(visit link)
Good luck!
Post Script: This tutorial is entirely biased, and should be taken accordingly.
Additional Hints
(Decrypt)
V yvrq. V qvqa'g hfr gur uvag zragvbarq va gur pnpur cntr.