That's it, I'm selling my GPSr. No, wait! I'm trowing it away! Wait, worst still: I'm setting it on fire and then trow it under a steam roller and then trow it away. Never again I'll follow its arrow to a lousy cache as this one!
Let me tell you about it:
It all started when I pressed "Find, geocache, nearest". A strange name appeared. The GPS was already broken... Its just like one of those cellphones that's been dropped one-too-many times. You can talk but you can't see who's calling... Nevertheless I pressed on and struggled to get to the cache. I've always been stubborn...
As soon as I parked the car I noticed a sign forbidding radio controlled devices. Thinking about it I realized that my GPS can loosely fit into that category. I tried to hide it but a policeman came and told me to turn it off or else... and then he just followed me around for about 30 minutes, just to make sure it was off. Meanwhile I managed to drop my car keys in a manhole. When I bent down to see them, my wallet fell in too... damm!
No car keys, no wallet, no GPS and a BIG policeman waving his stick at me...
Eventually the policeman wandered away and I turned the GPS back on, very discretely.
A few steps heading for the cache and I almost fell down a cliff. I had to find a way around. The only way was through a dump, with large bony dogs eating very strange looking things... oh, and glow-in-the-dark seagulls everywhere.
About ten minutes later I sat down on a turned over bucket. I heard dogs yelping from a building. Strange experiments, for sure... I decided to move on. The policeman was pointing at me and talking to a guy in green overalls with a chainsaw.
When I reached GZ my GPS started acting out again and changed my coordinate system to the South Finnish Ethiopian Triangular Grid. The arrow appeared a little bent and left was right... but I managed to reach some conclusions. The main one was that I was utterly, completely, absolutely lost. Furthermore, I just trod on dog shit... the gooey type. And it smelled bad!
No keys, no money, no GPS, no hope. Worst still, no cache!
I tried to find something to rub my foot but ended up stepping on another turd with the other foot.
And now it all started going downhill...
I heard a thumping noise and looked over my shoulder. A large ox was running towards me. I ran down the slope and jumped in the river. I can't swim but the alligators had water just over their legs, so it should've been shallow... I was wrong! Luckily, the alligators found the ox much more appealing than me. On the other side of the river there was a tree. Next to the tree was a very strange looking bag. There was a cache inside... could this be it?
Where's the logbook?
Where's the stash note?
Where's the IKEA pencil?
I knew this was a geocache because it was full of spent bus tickets, hair pins, pieces of chewing gum, rocks and MacDonald's coupons.
I used the cache to scrape off the shit from my shoes and the kicked it into the river.
Meanwhile, garbage trucks arrived and dropped their load all over my car. Fortunately my keys where lost.
It all ended when I pressed the "Found" key. Someone had seen my in the dump and gave me a ride back home.
This cache was the worst adventure of my life... I'm getting rid of my GPS. This won't happened again. Now, when I feel the urge to go caching, I'll just bang my head against a wall really hard and then sit in front of the TV, watching some depressing afternoon show...
Speaking of logs... what's a smile doing up there? This should be logged as a DNF, just to show a blue frown. Can't I log a Found with a DNF smiley?
[This entry was edited by afonso_loureiro on Tuesday, October 30, 2007 at 5:54:09 PM.]