My name is Matt Foley, and I am a motivational speaker! Before I
begin, I want to tell you a little about myself, so you'll know
where I'm coming from. First off, I am 35 years old.. I am thrice
divorced.. and I'm looking in a can down by the river! We'll
start with you young man! Now, let me begin with an obvious
question: Where's the cache?
Well, I.. don't.. know! Well, that and a nickel will get you a
hot cup of jack squat! You want to throw in your two cents?
Anybody? Oh, the silent treatment, huh? Well, well, well.. a few
minutes ago you were all as lively as a bunch of fish laughing and
giggling, geocaching around like a short-order cook at a truck
stop! "Hey, man, look at me go, geocaching! I'm the Egg-Man,
coo-coo-ca-choo! Ha! That's a riot, you kids are having a ball!
Well, get over it! Now, what, may I ask, did you hope to accomplish
by these shenanigans?
Nothing?
Well, well, the jokes keep on coming! Help me out, people, I
can't see real good, is that Bob Hope over there? Huh? You keep it
up, pal, there's a big future in it! Kids, this reminds me of a
spooky Halloween story. Once, there was a boy who liked to hide
things. He started out hiding geocaches. Then, he threw the big
game. Then, he threw back a shot of whiskey. Then he threw up. Then
he got thrown out of the house, and now he's looking in a can
down by the river!