Welcome to
It is with a very
heavy heart that I write this letter. You know
that I care for you. And I will always have a warm spot for
you
in my heart. But things have happened recently that are
making
it harder and harder to continue on in this
relationship.
Several months
ago, all was wonderful. We laughed. We
played. We shared common interests. We went places
together and did things as a couple. But then things
changed. Oh, the changes were subtle at first. But over
time they have grown progressively more serious. You know
it’s true. And you and I both know why ...
Geocaching
Ever since that
fateful day we spotted that license plate
holder that read 'geocaching.com', and I innocently asked,
"What’s geocaching?" our lives have been steadily
growing
apart … two ships sailing in separate directions.
You have become
obsessed with geocaching. At first it was
fun. Going places and finding the caches together. I really
enjoyed it. And I guess I still do. But it has taken over
your
life! It’s all you think about!
We have no
Tupperware or Lock and Lock containers in the
kitchen anymore. When I'm cooking, you keep trying to
hide 35-mm film canisters under my apron! All our medications
are in envelopes because you’ve placed all our pill bottles
in
pine trees!! And the other day when I locked myself out of
the car and I looked for the extra key in the magnetic key
holder under the rear fender ... MISSING!! Gee, I wonder
where
it could have gone? (Note the sarcasm in my tone of
voice?)
In the evenings
you’re always on the computer. When I go
to bed you’re on the computer. When I get up you’re
on
the computer. We don’t ever go out any more. I
can’t
believe you wanted to tie a rope around my waist, and haul
me up the inside of a hollow tree just to get a cache.
Never mind that I’m afraid of bugs. This is your idea of
a
date?
I thought
geocaching would be an inexpensive hobby. Do
you have any idea how much money we spend on Travel Bugs,
geocoins, bison tubes, 2 quart Claussen pickle jars, AA
batteries, printer cartridges and reams of paper? And
that brings up another point. I can’t even walk around
the house because you have all these printouts of cache
pages stacked up in piles all over the place! And heaven
forbid if anyone should touch one of your piles of
papers.
But I need to calm
down. I told myself I would not get
angry. But I miss my best friend. We’re never
affectionate
anymore. The only way I can get you interested in me is to
wrap myself in camo tape, go hide and post my coordinates
online. Come get me! Believe me I’m easy! I’m a 1/1! I
don't
know. Maybe I should play harder to get. A 5/5? Wonder
who would be FTF? (There’s that sarcasm again.)
So I’m outta
here. Hasta la vista, baby! Slippin' out the
back, Jack! Gone looking for greener pastures. Don't bother
looking for me at the coordinates above.
The listed coordinates
are bogus!
P.S.; I really think
you need to seek help for your problem.
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