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Unsound Advice Traditional Cache

This cache has been archived.

CondoMax: Six DNFs, so I eventually got around to checking on this one today. The business that was here after Sound Advice is gone, belly up, I suppose. The FOR SALE sign is up and the landscaping is returning to Florida primeval, including invasive skunk vines that don't smell very pretty. The areal roots that hid the cache are disintegrating, and the area sucks. I have one active garbocache, so I won't restore this one unless the area improves.

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Hidden : 1/26/2009
Difficulty:
3 out of 5
Terrain:
1.5 out of 5

Size: Size:   micro (micro)

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Geocache Description:

Another one of CondoMax's lame micros. (Who does he think he is, war1man?)

And, speak of the devil, congrats to war1man, who braved nasty 75 degree weather and SR 436 rush hour traffic to be the first to find.

Whilst I am, most assuredly, unfavorably disposed toward egregiously exacerbating the calamitous cache pollution problem presently plaguing Altamonte Springs and neighboring communities, I nonetheless could not resist establishing this oblique memorial to a now defunct emporium in which I've dropped thousands of Simolians over the years but which unfortunately has succumbed to the now extant deleterious worldwide economic situation, oft dubbed a "crisis" by alarmist media wonks.

Wait--I got lost in that last sentence--where the heck was I, dude?

Oh, yeah. Someone apparently proffered this company decidedly unsound advice, because the store is now shuttered; thus it never again will purvey an overpriced big screen television or an obnoxious, unneighborly subwoofer. Verily, this is a pity, but memorialization of the failed enterprise has become the inspiration behind and, indeed, the raison d'être for this humble Geocache.

Desiring that it be an educational (albeit lame) micro, I shall present henceforth the checkered and sometimes sordid history of the proximal erstwhile emporium and its corporate parentage, courtesy of the St. Petersburg Times, November 6, 2008:

Based in Dania Beach, Sound Advice was founded as a single store in 1974 — partly bankrolled by $100,000 in laundered cash from a marijuana smuggler with ties to the gulf beaches of Pinellas County. The company later went public until being acquired by Tweeter Home Entertainment for $61-million in 2001.

The end came after Sound Advice parent Tweeter decided to close all 94 of its remaining stores. Tweeter, based in Canton, Mass., was acquired out of bankruptcy in 2007 for $38-million by Schultze Asset Management. The new owners chopped expenses, closed stores and reduced the retailer's visibility by shifting advertising to direct mail and some radio before giving up.

Once touted as a bounty for consumer electronics stores, the spread of flat-screen and HDTV sets instead has become part of many chains' struggle to survive, including Tweeter, the defunct Rex stores and Circuit City, which this week closed 115 of its 714 stores. Discounters like Best Buy, Wal-Mart and Target have aggressively become bigger players, as well as installers, as manufacturers continue to lower prices.

Your mission, should you for some inexplicably masochistic reason choose to accept it, is to perform a search for and seizure of the lame micro hidden in honor of this erstwhile establishment, signing its log and returning it to its secreted resting place. It is one of CondoMax's camo-taped geezer pill bottles (CTGPB), so wash your hands after handling it, or you might get that four-hour thing you hear about in the TV commercials. Bring your own pen; otherwise, you will incur The Undying Wrath of BoJaB, a lifelong curse.

And just for you, Mr. or Mrs. FTF, we have such a prize, already, that it gets me all ferklempt! Enclosed within the CTGPB is an FTF prize bound to increase the unseemly proliferation of lame nanos in the area, itself indeed being a dastardly wee nano container. Please place it in good health.

(No apologies for making you wade through this overly verbose, pedantic, and bombastic description just for a crappy little micro. What do you want I should say, "Easy park and grab"? Oy vay, that would be completely out of character. Besides, ISAG rules apply here--see my profile for details.)

Good luck and happy caching!

Additional Hints (Decrypt)

Nobhg gjragl-svir zrgref rnfg bs gur ovt fvta.

Decryption Key

A|B|C|D|E|F|G|H|I|J|K|L|M
-------------------------
N|O|P|Q|R|S|T|U|V|W|X|Y|Z

(letter above equals below, and vice versa)