Pirate tales. There are many of them. Most of them do not let the
truth get in the way of a good story! We've all heard about famous
pirates like Captain Jack Sparrow or Black Beard but there was a
Pirate so fierce, so dastardly, that few even care to utter his
name across their lips... Captain Saskatchewan!
(Shudder!)
Many a folk are not aware that the rivers and water ways of this
prairie province were once a privateer's paradise! It's true! These
swashbuckling buccaneers would sail their vessels down the rolling
rivers in search of unsuspecting farmers. Patiently they would
wait, hiding in the hay, and then BAM! They would strike and sail
off with their fertilizer and sell it on the black market!
Yar matey!
This Pirate activity continued for many years. Farm folk lived in a
constant state of terror, wondering if they would be next to lose a
load of lentils! Yes indeed, many were the years that Pirates
sailed the high river waters of Saskatchewan! It soon reached the
point that if you wanted to get to the CO-OP, you had to get by the
clever, conniving, constricting, Captain
Saskatchewan!
Everyone gasped when he walked into coffee row! He was tall, dark,
handsome and terrifying at the same time! He had a green jacket,
matching green hat with gold colored pants, a wooden leg and a
Parrot named Souris. Often his little feathered friend would cry
out "Rawk! Souris want a cache cache! Souris want a cache cache!
Rawk!" It was so mysterious! Nobody knew
what it meant!
Suddenly though, as quickly as he came on the scene, the fearsome
Captain vanished! Some say he was killed in a fierce duel with Long
John Silver. Other's say he was captured and tickled into oblivion
with a Pirate feather. Still, others say Captain Saskatchewan
simply sailed off into the prairie sunset, never to be seen again.
No one really knows! It is rumored though that he left behind a
testament to his pirate days: a treasure chest, filled with gold
and pirate loot, the likes of which no one has ever seen or
imagined! It is also rumored that there is hidden in the depths of
the chest a special unactivated pirate geocoin for the FTF --
whatever that means!?!
While researching this very mysterious Pirate legend at the Ada
Staples Library, I came across a strange person sitting in the
shadows who said he had information about Captain Saskatchewan.
Speaking with a thick accent, he was hard to understand. It
appeared impossible to comprehend his rhetoric so he scratched this
message onto a nearby slab of paper.
I asked for more information, but he was
disinclined to acquiesce to my request.
As I turned to go, he looked at me with cold, steel blue eyes that
cut me to the core. "X marks the
spot!" he whispered.
"Bwahahahaahaahhaa!" And with
that, he drew the strings of his bunny hug tighter and walked away,
melting into the stacks of books.
I don't know what any of this means, do you? Perhaps you have what
it takes to locate the lost treasure of the Last Saskatchewan
Pirate!