This is part of our Family Guy Series highlighting
Quahog's
local pharmacist, Mort Goldman.
Mort Goldman is noticeably Jewish and owns the local
Goldman's
Pharmacy. Mort is married to Muriel and has one son, Neil.
Mort's
defining characteristics are his whiny neuroticism and his
chronic
hypochondria. Mort once yelled out that he miscarried. Mort
once
bowled a perfect game in a rather unorthodox way by rolling
the
ball extremely slowly down the lane.
Mort is given to conversations about rather depressing,
and
often grotesque, topics. Mort doesn't mind revealing details
about
his customer's personal health problems, for example he once
went
into the details about a man with hemorrhoids, telling the
man's
daughter and her classroom that they were like stinking
little
balloons and that they stung him so bad that he had to apply
the
lotion in his car with a sock.
Mort once joined the medieval fair in an attempt to overcome
his
fear of swords. He tells Peter that he was stabbed in the ear by
a
man in a pirate suit when he was five-years-old, and again when
he
was 30. Mort is He also afraid of Adolf Hitler because he
thinks
Hitler has return from the dead to kill all the Jewish people
and
to start a war all over again.
Peter Griffin: Hey, Mort, let me get a package of condoms.
Oh,
and I guess I’ll need some Excedrin too because Lois has a
headache
“this big”. Hah-hah! Did you see? It’s like from the
commercial,
only I pointed at my junk.
Peter Griffin: Hey, Mort, do these suppositories come in
any
other flavors?
Mort Goldman: Peter! You’re not eating those, are you?
Peter Griffin: [sarcastically] No, I’m shoving them up my butt.
Of
course I’m eating them.