The Enneagram - Type 4 (The Tragic Romantic)
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Fourth of a planned 9 part series highlighting the Enneagram. Others in the series are:
The Enneagram - Type 9 (The Mediator) (GC2E134)
The Enneagram - Type 8 (The Boss) (GC2DBY6)
The Enneagram - Type 7 (The Enthusiast)( GC2DBXC)
The Enneagram - Type 6 (The Loyalist) (GC2DB71)
The Enneagram - Type 5 (The Observer) (GC2DA49)
The Enneagram - Type 3 (The Performer) (GC2D9N3)
The Enneagram - Type 2 (The Giver) (GC2D8RM)
The Enneagram - Type 1 (The Perfectionist) (GC2CZKJ)
The Enneagram ("ennea" means "nine") has roots going back to ancient Sufi mysticism, & describes 9 different personality types & their interrelationships. It helps us understand our own type & how to cope with our issues; understand our work associates, family & friends; and to appreciate the predisposition that each type has for higher human capacities such as empathy, omniscience & love.
The Enneagram was popularized by the Jesuit order in the 20th century. It is a personality typing system (similar to, but quite different from, the Myers-Briggs Personality Type Indicators). Each person is one of nine different and distinctive types, though all of us have characteristics found in each of the types. I am a 9, for example. Discovering this, and working with it, has been very informative and helpful to me.
While it's uncertain whether one's type is genetically determined, many believe it is already in place at birth. Enneagram authors have attached their own individual names to these numbers. Helen Palmer for example names them: 1. The Perfectionist; 2. The Giver; 3. The Performer; 4. The Tragic Romantic; 5. The Observer; 6. The Devil's Advocate; 7. The Epicure; 8. The Boss; 9. The Mediator. People of a particular type have numerous characteristics in common, but they can be quite different. It depends, among other things, on each person's level of mental and emotional health. Unhealthy (neurotic) people from a particular type can appear to be quite different from healthy ones of the same type.
For more in-depth information go to my now archived cache "The Enneagram (overview) GC8A196
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Type 4 - The TRAGIC ROMANTIC
The Sensitive, Introspective type: Expressive, Dramatic, Self-Absorbed, and Temperamental
Type Four in Brief
Fours are self-aware, sensitive & reserved. They are emotionally honest, creative & personal, but can also be moody & self-conscious. Withholding themselves from others due to feeling vulnerable & defective, they can also feel disdainful & exempt from ordinary ways of living. They typically have problems with melancholy, self-indulgence & self-pity. At their best: inspired & highly creative, they are able to renew themselves & transform their experiences.
Basic Fear: That they have no identity or personal significance Basic Desire: To find themselves and their significance (to create an identity) Key Motivations: Want to express themselves and their individuality, to create and surround themselves with beauty, to maintain certain moods and feelings, to withdraw to protect their self-image, to take care of emotional needs before attending to anything else, to attract a "rescuer."
Examples: Ingmar Bergman, Alanis Morrisette, Paul Simon, Jeremy Irons, Joseph Fiennes, Bob Dylan, Miles Davis, Johnny Depp, Anne Rice, J.D. Salinger, Marcel Proust, Maria Callas, Tennessee Williams, Edgar Allan Poe, Prince, Michael Jackson, Judy Garland, "Blanche DuBois" (Streetcar Named Desire), Thomas Merton.
Type Four Overview
Fours maintain their identity by seeing themselves as fundamentally different from others. They feel they are unlike other human beings, and consequently, that no one can understand them or love them adequately. They often see themselves as uniquely talented, possessing one-of-a-kind gifts, but also as uniquely disadvantaged or flawed. Healthy Fours are honest with themselves: they own all of their feelings & can look at their motives, contradictions and emotional conflicts without denying or whitewashing them. They may not necessarily like what they discover, but they are not afraid to see themselves “warts and all.”
Healthy Fours are willing to reveal highly personal and potentially shameful things about themselves because they are determined to understand the truth of their experience. This ability enables Fours to endure suffering with a quiet strength. Their familiarity with their own darker nature makes it easier for them to process painful experiences that might overwhelm other types. Nevertheless, Fours often feel they are missing something in themselves, although they may have difficulty identifying exactly what that “something” is. Given time and sufficient perspective, Fours generally recognize that they are unsure about aspects of their self-image and personality.
While Fours often feel different from others, they do not really want to be alone. They may feel socially awkward or self-conscious, but they deeply wish to connect with people who understand them and their feelings. The “romantics” of the Enneagram, they long for someone to come into their lives and appreciate the secret self that they have privately nurtured and hidden from the world. If, over time, such validation remains out of reach, Fours begin to build their identity around how unlike everyone else they are. The outsider therefore comforts herself by becoming an insistent individualist: everything must be done in their own way, on their own terms. Fours’ mantra becomes “I am myself. Nobody understands me. I am different & special,” while they secretly wish they could enjoy the easiness & confidence that others seem to enjoy.
Fours typically have problems with a negative self-image and chronically low self-esteem. They attempt to compensate for this by cultivating a Fantasy Self—an idealized self-image built up primarily in their imaginations. In the course of their lives, Fours may try on several different identities for size, basing them on styles, preferences or qualities they find attractive in others. But underneath the surface, they still feel uncertain about who they really are. When Fours look inward they see a kaleidoscopic, ever-shifting pattern of emotional reactions. Indeed, Fours accurately perceive a truth about human nature—that it is dynamic and ever changing. But because they want to create a stable, reliable identity from their emotions, they attempt to cultivate only certain feelings while rejecting others. By attempting to hold on to specific moods & express others, Fours believe that they are being true to themselves.
One of the biggest challenges Fours face is learning to let go of feelings from the past; they tend to nurse wounds & hold onto negative feelings about those who've hurt them. Fours can become so attached to longing & disappointment that they're unable to recognize the many treasures in their lives.
There's a Sufi story that relates to this about an old dog that had been badly abused & was near starvation. One day, the dog found a bone, carried it to a safe spot & started gnawing away. It was so hungry that it chewed on the bone for a long time until it got every last bit of nourishment. After some time, a kind old man noticed the dog and its pathetic scrap and began quietly setting food out for it. But the poor hound was so attached to its bone that it refused to let go of it and soon starved to death. Fours are in the same predicament. As long as they believe that there is something fundamentally wrong with them, they cannot allow themselves to experience or enjoy their many good qualities. To acknowledge their good qualities would be to lose their sense of identity (as a suffering victim) and to be without a relatively consistent personal identity. Fours grow by learning to see that much of their story is not true any more. The old feelings begin to fall away once they stop telling themselves their old tale: it is irrelevant to who they are right now.
(from The Wisdom of the Enneagram, Riso and Hudson, p. 180-182) To take a short test to discern your Enneagram type click here: http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/dis_sample_36.asp
Congratulations to DMB4Life for FTF.
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