YOU SMASH IT – WE’LL CACHE IT!
Hello! Welcome to my Roadkill Café Series! Ever see those poor road killed critters just wasting away on the road? Ever feel badly because it’s such a waste? Well, take heart! There is a solution! I will be providing you with a whole SERIES of amazing road kill recipes! By the time you get done with your trip, you will have a whole new perspective on the sight of a main dish on the road! You will be “chomping” at the bit to give these new recipes a shot! Why let it all go to waste?
Bon Appetite!
This is the DEER cache. It is dedicated to all of those unlucky or slow Bambis. Wiildrose story: I’ve never hit a deer (knock on wood), but I’ve had TWO hit me! Yes, honestly, THEY hit ME! RIGHT into the side of my car! Go figure!!
*(DO NOT TRY THESE AT HOME. "Roadkill Recipes" have been created for twisted humorous purposes only. Consumption of rotting, dead animals of any kind is not recommended and could result in serious illness or death -- unless you're a vulture.)
This is not a multi cache. Each cache in this series is an individual cache that can be logged. I’m creating this series to give travelers the opportunity to stretch their legs on the looong drive from Spokane to Seattle, and back. I know that when I have caches along the way on a long road trip, the trip seems to go more quickly. I get back into the rig feeling refreshed and less weary. I hope that these help you all on your long drives…or at least entertain you on the way!
Rules of the Road Kill
1.Freshness is always the rule (if it's still there on your way home, it's too late).
2. Semi-squashed is much better than squashed; anything clobbered by an 18-wheeler is absolutely undesirable.
3. Blacktop surfaces are much preferred over dirt roads; concrete is a gourmet's delight.
4. Remember the early bird catches the...ah, worm!
*Don’t be mislead…I am an animal lover. This is all for fun. Take it in the humorous spirit that it is intended.
ACCESS INFO: Exit # 231 (Tokio). Can be accessed from either westbound OR eastbound. South side of freeway. Nice place for gas, snacks or real food nearby. I have tried to put all of these caches in a place where you can park by the cache site & sit in the rig to read the recipes, or at least have some privacy while doing so.
MANY thanks to Wiild Country Girl for accompanying me on the insane cache-placing journeys. She was SO much help with helping find placement spots, and keeping track of all the other cache proximities, hints, exit numbers, road names, etc, and just plain making the trips more fun. THANK YOU, WCG!
CONGRATULATIONS to flutemaker for the FTF!!
(Since the recipes & descriptions keep getting muggled, I am changing the cache page to include the reading material that used to be in the cache. I really didn’t want to have to add all this on the cache page itself, but since they’ve been muggled...here ya go!)
I am the deer, graceful and strong
But to this world I did not belong
God decided that it was my time
Death by car, and in my prime!
I crossed the road easily on most nights
But that night I stopped, because of the lights
The lights, the lights! They were so pretty
But they took me away, oh what a pity…
DEER
Deer are a favorite target for road kill, and probably give the greatest satisfaction for a perfect shot. If you hit it just right you'll get it square on the grill so all you have to do is tie it to the bumper and spread it across the hood. That way you look like all the other macho hunters who tie their kill across the bonnet in such a way as to show off the antlers to their buddies as they drive back to town.
Of course the down side of a perfect shot with your grill is that the deer has permanently rearranged the front of your car - sometimes to the tune of a couple thousand bucks (we're talking dollars). You've got to be a real roadkill enthusiast to look forward to paying that kind of money for venison.
....Deer crossings? Deer pay no attention to them. I'm not quite sure how it is that these signs end up in the locations they do, but you can bet the deer haven't petitioned for them, and they're not looking for these as some kind of safe crosswalK. Of course they can't read, and I really don't think they could be expected to learn to recognize a particular route to safety. If deer were capable of this kind of Pavlovian conditioned response, wouldn't we see more of them in the IQ Zoos? And even is they were capable of being trained to respond in a prescribed way to a set stimulus, like crossing roads at deer crossing signs, how would they get good at it? One mistake and they're road kill. It's kinda like cliff diving. After that first dive, you pretty much know if you've got what it takes. If you're alive, you've got what it takes. If not, you're water fodder.
Here are the title of the recipes you have missed since the muggling: The recipes are gone, but at least you'll know what you COULD have cooked!
Deerly Departed:
Too Slow Doe – Had 1 lane to go.
Smear of Deer
No-luck Buck – Just can’t duck a truck.
No Fear Deer – Just had a bad year.
Mangled Mule Cruel – You’ll drool like a fool.
Big Bagged Stag – Don’t gag on your stag.
Long Gone Fawn – Found dead on the lawn.