Elephant daze Mystery Cache
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Difficulty:
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Size: 
(micro)
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Until I started to prepare this cache I didn't know there were so many elephant jokes around. I even come across a number of elephant jokes not suitable for use here.
How many legs?
What do you get when you cross an elephant with...
1. A cat?
Something that purrs as it squashes you.
2. A duck and a light bulb?
A huge electric bill.
3. A frisbee?
A hernia.
4. A kangaroo?
Bloody great holes all over Australia.
5. A sheep?
Enough wool to knit a skyscraper.
6. A shotgun?
An elephant with a double-barreled trunk.
7. A skin doctor?
A pachydermatologist.
8. A Volkswagen?
A little car with a big trunk.
9. A whale?
A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
10. Peanut butter?
Either peanut butter that never forgets or an elephant that sticks to the roof of your mouth.
11. What do you call an elephant that flies?
A jumbo jet.
12. What's gray and wrinkly and jumps every twenty seconds?
An elephant with hiccups!
13. What's as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?
An elephant's shadow!
14. What's big, gray and flies straight up?
An elecopter!
15. What's gray, carries a bunch of flowers and cheers you up when you're ill?
A get wellephant!
16. What's gray and highly dangerous?
An elephant with a machine gun!
17. What's big and gray and lives in a lake in Scotland?
The Loch Ness Elephant!
18. Policeman: "One of your elephants has been seen chasing a man on a bicycle."
Zoo Keeper: "Nonsense, none of my elephants knows how to ride a bicycle!"
19. Why do the elephants have short tails?
Because they can't remember long stories!
20. How to you keep an elephant in suspense?
I'll tell you tomorrow!
21. What's the difference between an elephant and a piece of paper?
You can't make a paper aeroplane out of an elephant!
22. What's the difference between an elephant and a banana?
Have you ever tried to peel an elephant?
23. What's the difference between an African elephant and an Indian elephant?
About 3,000 miles!
24. What's the difference between an elephant and a gooseberry?
A gooseberry is green!
25. Teacher: "To which family does the elephant belong?"
Pupil: "I don't know, nobody I know owns one!"
26. Teacher: "How do you spell elephant?"
Pupil: "E-l-l-e-e-f-a-n-t"
Teacher: "That's not how the dictionary spells it"
Pupil: "You didn't ask me how the dictionary spelt it!"
27. Teacher: "Name six wild animals"
Pupil: "Four elephants and two lions!"
28. Why did the elephant cross the road?
Because the chicken was having a day off!
29. What do you call an elephant at the North Pole?
Lost!
30. How do you kill a blue elephant?
You shoot it with the blue-elephants gun.
31. How do you kill a red elephant?
You choke it until it's blue, then you shoot it with the blue-elephants gun.
32. How do you kill a yellow elephant?
You make it run until it's red, then you choke it until it's blue, then you shoot it with the blue-elephants gun.
33. How do you get four elephants into a Mini?
Two in the front, two in the back.
34. What game do four elephants in a Mini play?
Squash.
35. How do you get an elephant into the fridge?
1. Open door. 2. Insert elephant. 3. Close door.
36. How do you get a giraffe into the fridge?
1. Open door. 2. Remove elephant. 3. Insert giraffe. 4. Close door.
37. The lion, King of the Jungle, decided to have party. He invited all the animals in the jungle, and they all came except one. Which one?
The giraffe, because he was still in the fridge.
38. How do you know there are two elephants in your fridge?
The door won't close.
39. How do you know there are three elephants in your fridge?
There is a Mini outside with one elephant in it.
40. How can you tell that an elephant has been in your fridge?
By the footprints in the butter.
The elephancache can be found at S CD ED.FI(B+D) E ACH CG.FI(F- J)
Where:
A = Number of elephants in the mini when there are three elephants in your fridge
B = Number of "l"s in the spelling of elephant
C = How many thousand miles between an African and Indian elephant
D = How many elephants can fit in a Mini
E = How many elephants does it take to fill a Mini and a fridge
F = Number of letters in the answer to question 3 (don't count the first 'a')
G = The number of wild animals in the pupil's answer to joke 27 plus 1
H = How many elephants can you fit in two Minis
I = Number of letters in the answer to joke 14 (don't count 'an')
J = Number of times Walrus is mentioned in the jokes
Many thanks to Trunksnsuch for the concept
Additional Hints
(Decrypt)
D: Jung'f terl naq fgvpxf gb zrgny?
N: Na ryrcunag jvgu n zntargvp crefbanyvgl.
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