Batlle of Valley Park Multi-Cache
stewy1966: Give someone else a chance to make even a better cache.
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A bit larger than a small. This should be an easy multi. Please give your own version of the occurrences of the battle in the log.
Orinthal Tyler Kirkwood III stood up on the bluff looking down his nose at the peace loving people of Valley Park. He did not like what he saw below him. He saw people enjoying themselves along the banks of the Meramac River. There were club houses, canoes, swimmers, and families fishing together. He believed that he could make better use of the valley that lay below him. He pictured a long strip of shops like blacksmiths, dress shops, gun smiths, saloons, sawmills, haberdasheries, and of course Kirkwood's General Store Mart were you could buy anything that you could think of. Orinthal decided that he was going to take over Valley Park by attacking the city with his yacht WTWTWT (even back then they liked acronyms.)
It took a long time to install the 3 inch naval gun on the boat and during that time our hero Roy Stewart found out about the plan. He gathered the good people of Valley Park and they built the fortification to the west of where you are standing right now. The people lined the walls of the fortification as the yacht WTWWTW sailed up the flooded river. Orinthal ordered the people of Valley Park to surrender. Roy replied with the word "nuts". So Orinthal loaded up his gun and fired at the fort. The shot fell short and as he was re-loading the gun the Meremac River water level fell drastically. The yacht got moored and sank into the mud. The only thing above the mud was the gun, bell, and flag pole. Orinthal abandoned his yacht and went back up to his bluff to look down on the Valley.
The good people of Valley Park decided to leave the ship where it lay. But they took the bell and gave it to their allies Webster Groves. They still argue over the bell every Thanksgiving to this day.
Valley Park and Kirkwood still battle over Tree Court Industrial Court.
The gun is still in the same position as the day it was fired. The shell landed in line with the way the gun is pointed. If you chose to look for the shell it did not go far enough to make it to the fort. It is in line with the way that the gun is pointed. Beware of the shell that is still loaded to this day in the 3 inch naval gun.
Good Luck and cache safe.
P.S. None of the story above is true.
Since the history of this story mentions walk this way walk this way ancestors I decided in the interest of fairness that I would include his incorrect history of the events. Just remember that all secret services use mission of mercy as a ruse to destroy their peaceful foes.
Now on to the Battle of Valley Park:
I guess in Valley Park they were taught the story that you can read above. Being a descendent of Orinthal, I hunted for and found his old diary. Believe me, finding geocaches is a lot easier. There are a couple of interesting notes that appear incorrect above.
If the people of Valley Park liked to boat and fish “There were club houses, canoes, swimmers, and families fishing together.” it seems that a major fort with forty foot high walls would be unnecessary?
Are we to believe that the water level really fell drastically? “So Orinthal loaded up his gun and fired at the fort. The shot fell short and as he was re-loading the gun the Meremac River water level fell drastically. The yacht got moored and sank into the mud.” It sounds more likely that the WTWWTW was fired on, hit, and sank. Rivers don’t just dry up that fast.
Roy Stewart – was he really in charge and did he really say “nuts”? Others thought that General James Ewell Brown "J.E.B. - Stewy" Stuart was in charge. General Anthony McAuliffe – replied “nuts” in WWII, 1944. Did he copy Roy Stewart’s reply, or are the facts a little mixed up?
On to the real history as it comes from Orinthal’s diary.
The army of Kirkwood was controlled by Brigadier General, Joshua Thomas Owen. The general was not the bravest of leaders. He received a communication saying that the people to the west, in the land of the home of the tigers, were in desperate need of food and supplies. The general asked for a volunteer, a hero, to take the food and supplies west. Orinthal volunteered to lead the mission.
The Brigadier General sent a dispatch to General James Ewell Brown "Jeb - Stewy" Stuart to guarantee safe passage through Valley Park. No response was received. (my note: so if Roy Stewart was in charge, he must have somehow taken command from General Stewart. Very interesting…)
Since safe passage through Valley Park wasn’t guaranteed, Orinthal mounted a gun on his ship, and set sail. As he neared Valley Park the WTWWTW was fired on, not from the fort, but from the south. Orinthal returned fired, but outgunned the WTWWTW was hit and sank. The supplies were lost, and his men returned to the bluffs of Kirkwood. This history and the story of this famous battle later came to be known as le grand mensonge
Additional Hints
(Decrypt)
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