Captain Horatio McCallister Traditional Cache
Crazy Owl Chick: The captain has sailed away
Captain Horatio McCallister
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Captain McCallister (Horatio and/or Pete), more known simply as the Sea Captain, is a resident of Springfield. He's always seen holding a corncob pipe and squinting: because he has at least one glass eye - though once he was seen tapping both of his eyes and says he has 'two glass eyes.' In addition to eye(s), he also has an artificial leg.
Though he admitted that he isn't a real captain, Captain MacAllister has (incompetently) piloted several vessels. On one occasion, he wrecks a cargo ship full of hot pants; on another, in a reference to the Exxon Valdez oil spill, he causes an oil spill by crashing his tanker while drunk. He launches a river raft for Homer, only to have it sink immediately to the bottom. The captain's idea for Mr. Burns' casino involved three ships and fifty "stout men" who would "sail 'round the Horn and return with spices and silk". On several occasions, he acknowledges his incompetence with a depressed, "Yarr, I don't know what I'm doin'."
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