For anyone who knows Team Jeffshly, you know that it's made up of a mother, a father, and a daughter. Well, two-thirds of Team Jeffshly absolutely, positively LOVE to come up this hill. And one of us gets a Nervous Twitch! This cache is dedicated to all the poor folks who have felt that twitch in some way. Whether you're wondering how long you're going to have to look at the same sweater, or counting how many times you hear "Oh, that's cute," or scared of what the credit card bill's going to be at the end of the month, or trying to figure out where you're going to get the next 50-ounce quadruple espresso coffee to stay awake because your wife wants to shop on Black Friday while you're content to let your tryptophan overdose run its course, or downright afraid of being arrested because you're going to knock out the next person that elbows you in those narrow aisles trying to get their hands on the last $2.99 scarf in the store, YOU HAVE FELT THAT TWITCH!!
And it's not a good feeling!!
You feel the helplessness of someone who just wants to go home and watch the game, but you know you have another four hours of carrying bags. You feel the anxiety of wanting to scream when the person who forced you to come here asks you to find her another size because this one just doesn't fit quite right. You fight the urge to end it all by jumping off the cliff behind the mall in the hopes that your limp, lifeless body bounces down onto Interstate 79 where it's run over by a caravan of buses taking a bunch of blue-haired ladies carrying jars full of pennies to the nearby casino.
Then, the light comes on. You realized you've found your saving grace!
THERE'S A CACHE IN THE PARKING LOT!!!!!
You tell the Mrs. that you'll be right back, trying not to let on that you're about to make a disgruntled postal worker seem like a choir boy. You wind your way through the throngs of people who have driven over 100 miles to save $3 on that pair of shoes that they had to have. You make your way to the parking lot, and you know that within a minute or two, you'll be signing a logsheet, your heart rate will drop by half, your breathing will become regular again, and, if only for a fleeting moment, all will be right with the world again!
After years of scientific study, I've been able to come up with a hiding place that is both far enough away from the stores to give you that much-needed so-you-don't-punch-someone-in-the-throat break, close enough to the stores that your wife won't think you bolted across the street to bet the ponies, and easy enough that finding it requires absolutely no effort whatsoever, unless you consider lifting the skirt on a lamp post effort. In exchange for the aforementioned years of scientific study, I ask for two things. Number one: please use common sense in hunting and hiding this cache. Caches get muggled up here all the time and I'd like this one to last a while. Be stealthy. In other words, don't look like a geocacher. Number two: tell the world your worst outlet mall horror story in your log. Trust me, getting that off your chest will make you feel better. And reading it will make me feel like I'm not alone, twitching in solitude at The Outlet Mall.
Good luck and Happy Caching!
Congratulations to determined2 and JK Poling for earning the FTF honors on this cache!!