HOMER: D'ohhhhh, Marge. Why did we ever have a third child?
MARGE: Because all of our children fill our hearts with love, Homey.
HOMER: But, with the economy being what it is, how much do children cost us in this season of our lives?
MARGE: Well, Homey, when I was talking with Mayor Adam West from "The Family Guy" last week, I figured out our costs before Maggie...though I didn't really pay attention to Mayor West's points, since they really seemed out of place.
HOMER: But what I want to know is whether having Maggie is costing us so much that I need to run away to Canada.
MARGE: You might, Homey. After finding out the cost once Maggie is factored in, you may decide to flee to the North.
HOMER: Are you telling me everything I need to know to make my decision?
MARGE: Almost, Homey. There are two other things I think you should keep in mind.
HOMER: Two things? That's okay. I can deal with any number that I can count on one hand. So what are these two things, Marge?
MARGE: Number One: Maggie loves music, so, for Maggie's birthday party, we're going to invite every visible student from Lisa's band class to perform. And each child in that class will be bringing one parent. Before you decide to go off running away from home to the North, Homey, I really believe that you should add that number of people into your thinking.
HOMER: Ohhhh, that's too many people, Marge. Now my head hurts. You KNOW I'm really not good with math. And whenever I try to count how many students are in Lisa's class, I'm always off by one or two and have to try again. *SIGH* What's Number Two?
MARGE: Number Two is that I love you and I'd miss you, Homey. And the kids love you and would miss you too. And that's something you can definitely count on.
HOMER: Ohhhhhh. I like Number Two better. It has lots of love and no numbers. I've made my decision, Marge. I'll stay. And we'll keep the kids. Even the boy.
MARGE: Come here, my sweet baboo, and let Mistress Marge massage away all those nasty numbers from your temple.
HOMER: Temple? Now I have to go to ANOTHER place of worship every week? D'OH!!
MARGE: Just come here, Homey........
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LISA: Mooooom!! Shouldn't we tell all the people that the cache is not at the posted coordinates, that they need to figure out the real coordinates hinted at on the cache page in order to know where to really go, that the coordinates start with 25 degrees for the North and 80 degrees for the West, that when they're getting close they'll see coordinates not far from the fake posted ones, that after they park their cars they need to be super-duper careful when crossing the street, that they should bring their own pens, and that they can check their answers to the puzzle using the solution checker included on the geocache page?????
BART: Bwah hah hah hah!! No, Lisa...if they don't realize this is a mystery cache, let the suckers find all of that out for themselves!
LISA: Barrrt! You'd really hang innocent geocachers out to dry like that?
BART: HAHAHA! Dang straight I would! I'd hang them out to dry just like that used germ-infested tissue that I rescued from the trash can last week so that I can give it to my teachers the day before next week's test!
LISA: Number one: Ew. Number Two: Ha ha! We just told them anyway.
BART: D'oh!!
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MAGGIE (ON PACIFIER): *SUCK* *SUCK* *SUCK*, *SUCK* *SUCK*, *SUCK* *SUCK* *SUCK* *SUCK* *SUCK* (Translation: Congratulations to MulderNScully on the FTF "sucksess" and on surviving our mystery CO's cranium!)