Church of St Michael & All the Angels - Nelson Family Chapel
Standlynch Park was bought by a grateful nation and given to the Nelson family in 1814, after Horatio Nelson was fatally injured in a skirmish with the French navy. It was renamed Trafalgar Park, some say after the school in nearby Downton. In 1948, after the Labour administration realised Horatio had actually died, they stopped paying his pension. The family then had to sell the property to settle the death duties. Since then, the estate has changed hands several times. Today, to pay for restoration and upkeep, it is used for Corporate Hospitality, as a Film Set, and for Banquets, including Society Weddings. It is not usually open to the public.
It is assume that Horatio Nelson was quite short, but it was only his legs that were vertically challenged, as can be seen in contemporary videos - search for “Horrible Histories Nelson” (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IfNqIb6-8wA). He was a keen walker, seeking out apple trees in particular, as he discovered sitting under them was a sure-fire remedy for the sea-sickness which blighted his naval career. He was also something of a ladies man, and is best remembered for the Country Suppers he enjoyed with Emma Hamilton. He first met her whilst out Geo-Catching in Naples after a disastrous cruise to Eygpt, during which he lost most of his teeth and an eye. The previous year he had lost an arm catching a ball on the beach in Teneriffe. Such were the perils of foreign holidays in those pre-Magaluf days.
After his right arm had gone, he found he could only manage left-handed stiles, and even those were difficult when he was carrying his trusty ‘catching kit. GPS had selective availability in those days, and a compass, sextant and telescope were the only aids available to the early adoptors of Geocaching (then known as Geo-Catching). Horatio realised a different solution was needed for crossing field boundaries. The stile was attractive, as when the lady you were persuing crossed, her skirts would lift up, and if you were blessed with short legs, a glimps of ankle was on offer. But if it was a right-handed stile, he had no chance of a FTF. Gates always needed to be shut to keep the hoi-polloi (as the Muggles were called) out, and the stock in. Horatio realised a simpler solution was needed, and took his inspiration from the hooped dresses that were the fashion of the day. A gate with a tempting enclosure to entrap his quarry was the answer. Thus entangled, he could steal a kiss!
On the evening of 20th October 1805, (this is the History bit,) Horatio was downing a few lagers on the poop-deck of Carnival Cruises’ "Victory" with his friend Thomas Hardy, a poet from Dorset, and fellow Geo-Catcher. Horatio described his revolutionary new “Geo-Catching Gate”, but thought it needed a different name or the hoi-polloi would guess what they were for. The following day, as we know, Horatio had another of those unfortunate accidents that so plagued the early cruise market. As he lay bleeding, the answer finally came to him. His last words to his good friend were... “Kissing Gates, Hardy”. His voice was very faint, and nobody else could make out much of what he said other than “Kiss” and “Hardy”. Thomas, being an ambitious poet, obviously wanted to keep it for one of his poems, (The Third Kissing Gate) and told the onlookers what they thought they heard, whilst denying there was ever any chance of a Civil Partnership.
To celebrate the bi-centenary of giving Horatio Nelson a perpetual state pension, 80 Kissing Gates are being installed across South Wiltshire to make life easier for disabled geocachers.click here
Your Mission today, is to follow the trail from the Nelson family chapel, find some of these new gates, and collect clues to the secret location where perhaps Horatio and Emma could have enjoyed a break from Geo-Catching before a Country Supper, had things turned out differently.
In the grounds of the Church of St Michael & All the Angels, you will find a group of five grave markers for the Nelson family, visible in the photo above. First find that for the 3rd Earl Nelson, and then the one for his eldest daughter. She was born on 9th July 18AB, and he died on 25th February 19CD.
After looking around the churchyard, piecing together the family tree, you can set off along the track, and take the waymarked footpath to some new gates at:-
N51° 01.0(AB-CD) W001° 44.ACA
At a Y junction a short way along the path, take the lower route, closer to the river. When you get down to the river bank, look out for the wildlife;- crested grebes, water voles, anglers (very wild at times) etc. After a short climb through a leafy glade, you will arrive at the gates, and can then solve these clues:-
E = Total number of metal gates you can you see from here.
F = Total number of genuine Kissing Gates. Regretably the farmer has removed half the hoops from one, but still include it.
G = Number of steps (with wooden risers) to the highest Kissing Gate.
H = Number of panels on each Kissing Gate covered with mesh.
You should now have all the information for calculating the coordinates for GZ, The Cache, your final conquest of the day at:-
N51° 00.(B+G)(E-G)H W001° 44.HG(H-F)
Do not offend the Estate Owners by “Following the Needle”. There may be a Shooting Party on the loose, and carcases “Remain the Property of the Estate”, in England. Use the Nelson approach, tracking back along your path to the Y junction, before your final assault from the unexpected direction, catching those damn frenchies unawares, perhaps?. The cache was under a tree next to a beautiful spot for Horatio and Emma to have their tryst, or picnic. Unfortunately, the cows have removed the cache from its original secret spot, and it is now safely out of their reach near the metal field gate. However, take in the view by the tree, have a tryst, if so inclined, but first look over your shoulder to spot those celebrities on the terrace of the Big House!
Hopefully the previous cacher will have secured the lid of he cache box, and put it in the hiding place, covered with some stickoflague. For the “Nelson Touch”, be sure your successors will thank you for your diligence too.
and as they say at the end of all maritime excusions, “We trust you have enjoyed your voyage with us, and wish you a safe onward passage.”