Fer th' past twen'y years, yers truly 'as been one of th' most afeered bukaneers of th' high seas! But I've put me wicked ways bahind me an' now I lives a simple, happy an’ honest life, serving good cit'zens such as yerselves who honer me with yer business.
On th' twen'y ferst day o' September, frum four bells ta seven bells in th' eve, It'd be me pleshure ta 'ave ya join me at me tavern (pavillion), “THE TALKING PARROT." (Up Parley's Canyon at Washington Park Upper Terrace Pavillion, then ya find it nearby th' posted co-oridinates, mateys.) It be named after me dear old bird, Blabberbeak, wit' whom I've shared many a rollicking adventure!
When ya make port thar be a mighty fine soiree ta be had! Heer be the details:
I- Be ye sure ta ware yer finest bonny pirate garb! There's booty ta be won fer the best of ye dressed!
II- When ye be seein th' awespishious host, namely the Cap'n meeself. Please be askin' fer a small complimentry lucky gold piece. Ya may be needin' it fer sumtin later.
III- Be ye warned there be high adventure t' come with a letterboxin' treasure hunt by none oth'r than the queen gypsy 'erself, Madame Butterfly. Eight handmade stamps to be gotten, so ye best bring yer stampin' book!
IV- Swashbuckling compatishuns will be cummensed as we get to merrymakin'. Some fine swag booty to be had fer th' winners!
V- At yer leisure, be sure t'visit our new coin trading table. Me an' me broth'r, Crossbones Christopher, are proud t'announce we'ave jest minted, in league with OakCoins, an original geocoin. It be named "Blackbeard and the Queen Anne's Revenge," which be avaylable fer purchase on ther' website. But iff'n ye want a special vershun ye must be gettin' it only from Crossbones Christopher 'imself, him bein' th' deezinner 'an all. Come see it fer yourself!
VI- When ye come, I'd be askin' ye t' bring a side dish or tasty dessert, and if'n ye could bring beverages fer yer crew an' t' share, sence th' bar be fresh out o' rum, (It be that blasted parrot's fault!) But we will be pervidin’ some tasty saltyburgs and hot-seadogs as long as they last, an' jolly company, o' course. Thats fer certin. We know ye'll enjoy your stay!
VII- Th' Pirate Geobash ends at seven bells, or when all o' ya 'ave gotten thru wit' th' treasure hunt. But wait!!! After the carowzing at me own tavern, we be fer weighin’ th’ anchor an’ settin’ sail down to the big city o’ salt fer a pub crawl in full pirate regalia! This be fer adults only and only those wit’ a mind to have thar fill o’ rum and debauchery need attennd. The pub crawl starts at eight bells and ends when they sets us out on arr arses! Yo ho! yo ho!
In perpitude and grashusly, yer host,
Cap'n Honest Dan*
*(known to some as railroader921 
)