The taming of the shrew − a free interpretation Mystery Cache

A Shakespearian play in one act, an abridged adaptation from the original storyline of The taming of the shrew.

PETRUCHIO, a persistent suitor.

KATHERINA, a young woman known for her bad temper.

ACT I: Katherina keeps insulting Petruchio but he succeeds in winning her heart by reverse psychology.

SCENE I: Insults are confronted by flatteries.

[Enter Katherine and Petruchio]

Katherina: Thou bat-fowling bum-bailey! Thou art as worthless as the difference between nothing and thyself. Remember thyself.

Petruchio: You prickly purring sassy sweetlips! Remember yourself.

Katherina: Thou slimy slithering barnacle! Thou art as fobbing as the product of an adder and thyself. Remember thyself.

Petruchio: You sweetest thing! You are as sweet as the sum of a warm gentle breeze of a midsummer’s night and a freshly picked grape and the morning dew on a rose petal! Remember yourself.

Katherina: Thou apple-john! Thou art as wingless as the difference between a dismal warped tardy-gaited plume-plucked droning dodo and thyself.

Petruchio: Thou art as eloquent as the sum of the difference between the product of thy most passionate flaming gaze and thy hot moist ruby lips and my ever-growing pulsating burning desire and me. Remember yourself.

Katherina: Thou art the sum of my frenzied wild most unrestraint daring day dreams and thyself. Remember yourself.

  [Exeunt]

SCENE II: Intimate discussion between Katherine and Petruchio after their clandestine rendez-vous.

[Enter Katherina and Petruchio]

Katherina: Recall the warmth of our embrace. Speak your mind!

Petruchio: Thou art as merciless as the sum of a fiery dragon and a lioness.

[Exeunt]

SCENE III: Intimate discussion continues.

[Enter Katherine and Petruchio]

Katherine: Recall my lips against thine. Open your heart.

Petruchio: Thou art as torrid as the difference between thyself and Countess Dracula.

Katherine: Am I more eager than you?

Petruchio: If not so, we must return to scene III.

[Exeunt]

SCENE IV: Katherine is totally impressed by the sincerity of her suitor.

[Enter Katherine and Petruchio]

Katherine: Thou art as appealing as thy fully inflated codpiece.

Petruchio: Recall my masculine strength. Speak your mind!

[Exeunt]

SCENE V: Petruchio proves Katherina his true value − curtain.

[Enter Katherine and Petruchio]

Petruchio: Recall our hearts beating in unison. Open your heart.

Katherine: You are as breathtaking as the sum of yourself and a plunge into ice cold water.

Petruchio: Am I not as worthless as nothing?

Katherine: If so, let us return to scene V.

[Exeunt]