The Infamous Shakespeare in Space Drama.
Pericles, our Danish hero, a beer loving geocacher and trainee astronaut.
Mistress Overdone, his love interest, who has spent a bit too much time in the solarium.
Venus, his destination.
Christopher Sly, his nemesis, a geocache hider and mystery creator, a bit too clever for his own good.
The Abbot of Westminster, a man of infinite wisdom and considerable girth, advising Pericles on matters of space travel.
Act I: Pericles making his farewells.
Scene I: Pericles and The Abbot of Westminster.
[Enter Pericles and The Abbot of Westminster]
Pericles:
You are as large as the cube of a big old uncle.
The Abbot of Westminster:
You tiny tiny little fellow.
Remember the difference between yourself and a mighty king.
Remember The Lord.
[Exit The Abbot of Westminster]
Scene II: Pericles and Christopher Sly.
[Enter Christopher Sly]
Pericles:
You are as smelly as twice the sum of a stinking Hell and twice a stinking Hell.
You are as smelly as the sum of yourself and the quotient between yourself and a green nose.
You are as fat as the sum of The Abbot of Westminster and yourself!
Christopher Sly:
Remember the difference between yourself and a noble hero.
Remember me.
Pericles:
You pig.
You are as foul as the sum of a dirty stinking pig and yourself.
You are as stupid as the difference between yourself and twice yourself.
Christopher Sly:
Remember me.
Remember the sky.
Remember the difference between The Abbot of Westminster and the product of your big black cat and yourself.
[Exit Christopher Sly]
Scene III: Pericles and Mistress Overdone.
[Enter Mistress Overdone]
Pericles:
Thou art as beautiful as the sum of a fair rose and a pretty angel.
Thou art as lovely as the difference between thyself and a flirt-gill.
Mistress Overdone:
Remember me.
[Exit Mistress Overdone]
Scene IV: Pericles and Venus.
[Enter Venus]
Pericles:
You are a moon.
Venus:
You stupid bastard.
[Exit Venus]
Scene V: The Abbot of Westminster returns with some final advise.
[Enter The Abbot of Westminster]
Pericles:
You are as huge as the quotient between yourself and a normal tree.
The Abbot of Westminster:
Remember Venus.
Remember the difference between a cow and a horse.
Remember me.
Remember the difference between a bold honest trustworthy fair noble normal fellow and the sum of a foul stinking bastard and a pig.
[Exeunt]