Atomic Number: 181
Atomic Mass: 452
Reaction Rate: Extremely slow
Density: Extremely high
Phase at Room Temperature: Hot air
Element Classification: Spineless
Period Number: 10 Group Number: none Group Name: Moronide
A major research institution has announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science - "governmentium." It has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 115 deputy neutrons and 324 assistant deputy neutrons for an atomic mass of 452. These 452 particles are held together by forces called morons that are further surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like sub particles called peons.
Governmentium has no electrons and is therefore inert. It can be detected however since it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of governmentium can take a reaction that normally occurs in seconds and slow it to the point where it takes years.
Governmentium has a normal half life of 3-5 years. It doesn't decay but "re-organizes", a process where assistant deputy neutrons and deputy neutrons change places. This process actually causes it to grow, as in the confusion some morons become neutrons, thereby forming isodopes.
When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium--an element which radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons. All of the money is consumed in the exchange, and no other by-products are produced.
An outside force called Bureauacritizatium guides and directs all the peons and morons no matter how much their power levels drop. Even when Governmentium and Administratium no longer function, Bureauacritizatium is always ready with an additional infusion of control. Contrary to all the laws of physics, while Bureauacritizatium can be created; it can never be destroyed.
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