Somewhere Screaming: "Fiiiinnnndddd Mmeee!" Traditional Cache

Do you have a problem with Geocaching?  Is Geocaching running your life?  Are you totally obsessed with this sport or could you walk away from Geocaching this moment and never go out to find another cache?   You will need to do some serious soul searching to answer those questions.

WELL THIS IS A TEST TO SEE IF YOU ARE OBSESSED

To help you find out if you are addicted to Geocaching, take the following test.  Answer yes or no to the following few questions:

1. Do you set your clock for 4:00 AM just so you can add another FTF to your list?
2. Has the mileage on your car gone past two insurance levels increasing your rates?
3. Has your gas bill tripled since starting geocaching?
4. Do you know the names of caches around your home better than your spouse or kids names?
5. Is your driveway covered with spray-painted cache box or pill container silhouettes?
6. Do you refuse to replace your 35 mm camera with a new digital camera because you need the film containers for micro hides?
7. Do you re-read the logs you posted a month ago?  A year ago?
8. Do you use geocaching as a confidence builder?  "I found it", "I found it"  i.e. I'm Okay
9. Have you ever dreamed of or had nightmares about that cache that got away or wasn’t approved?
10. Are your grocery purchases based on the items packaging’s usefulness as a cache container?
11. Has Geocaching nearly gotten you arrested for doing illegal things like crossing a “do not enter” sign?
12. Have you nearly gotten shot driving up a private road to get closer to a cache because you were in too much of a hurry to get to the next one and didn’t want to walk the proper way?
13. Have you ever gotten up from the middle of dinner and run out the door because your cell phone rang with the publication of a new cache?
14. Is your garage full of pill boxes, ammo cans, rolls of camo tape and other caching junk?
15. Do you log onto the geocaching.com web site at least once each day to check your geo-stats?
16. Did you miss your wedding or kid’s graduation because you had to go for just one more cache?
17. Does your Geodog hate you because you spend more time looking for the cache than playing with him?

If you answer "yes" to five or more of these questions, you may be addicted to Geocaching and may need serious psychiatric help to overcome this obsession.  THIS CACHE IS HERE AS THAT CRUTCH TO HELP YOU.

It's no secret and as much as you'd like to try to hide it, you know that when you see the latest published caches near your home, you only see a perfect page full of smiley’s.  Then from out of nowhere, that new cache appears and completely screws up that perfect page of yellow faces.  It just sits there, it cruelly bites at you, it summons you to drop whatever it is you are doing and speaks to you in that dreadfully haunting voice....."Come fiiiinnnndddd mmeee!"

Can you resist?   Probably not and without a blink of your eye, you jump into your shoes and run out the door maybe even still in your pajamas as the sun is still sleeping far below the horizon just so you can score another find and hurry home to log that you are the FTF and that you were there before any other normal person has even risen for the day.  The only shocker to this is that you may meet one or more of your fellow cachers there too.

Well, if this is you, this cache is here to help build your resistance.  Can you find it in yourself to NOT GO AFTER THIS CACHE?  There is absolutely nothing for you to gain by being the FTF or even finding it at all.

• There is no invigorating hike.
• There are no breathtaking views.
• There is no interesting history lesson.
• There are no cool first to find prizes or other cool pieces of junk (i.e. cache swag) to trade for.
• The idea for this cache is stolen from several other people.
• Most of the text here is my own but some of it is blatantly plagiarized.
• So what's the purpose?
• Why?  Ask yourself  “why”  are you even thinking about seeking this cache.

All you can gain by finding this cache is to add it to your total find stats.  Oh, it may look good on your stat page but really now, who looks at all those statistics and pages and numbers anyway, other than yourself and your mother.

So now it's your turn.  It's time to show the world just how strong you are and that you are capable of stopping geocaching anytime you want.

Really you can do this.   Stay away from this cache and DO NOT FIND IT!

Don't listen to that devilish inner voice calling, Fiiiinnnndddd Mmeee!", "Fiiiinnnndddd Mmeee!"

But just in case you can't resist, for your THERAPY, THOUGH NOT REQUIRED, I AM HOPING THAT YOU WRITE IN YOUR POST NEXT TO THAT SMILEY [the smiley you should be totally embarrassed to be posting], in as many coherent sentences as you can considering your excitement of posting that new smiley, why you feel you are not a slave to this sport.  Maybe that will make you dig deep into your inner being and help in overcoming your obvious addiction to this great sport of Geocaching.

Posts that don’t explain how you plan to overcome your addiction won’t be deleted but:

1. They will be boring and no fun to read, and
2. You will be missing out on this “free” therapy.

Pictures of you hitting your head in pain against the cache for not being able to resist another find would also be welcome.

And please, for heaven’s sake , don’t go home and take your frustrations out on your Geodog.  He has nothing to do with your addiction and all he wanted to do as you left the house was to go play fetch but no, YOU had to go for this “just another cache” instead.

Now let’s see who has the guts to log that FTF.  Shame on you.  You should be totally embarrassed.

HINT:

Are you nuts?  You want a what?   You don't need a hint.....you need THERAPY.  I cannot in good conscience provide a hint just to aid in your Geocaching obsession and after all, YOU ARE NOT GOING TO GO LOOK FOR THIS CACHE ANYWAY….A R E  Y O U ?  so what good would a hint be?