.............came crashing down on my head as I tried to pull my pants up yet again.
"Dude!, Help!" I cried out to my companion, jello pudding oozing down my face and into my collar. He was struggling with rope bridge where his foot had gone through.
"One sec Dude!" he called back to me. One sec!! I didn't have a sec!!! I turned my attention back to the Bear, it was pulling yet another condiment from its brand new utility belt it had made from the belt I was so so missing at that moment. I ran past Dude," Forget the bridge, I'm using the STURDY CABLE CROSSING, DUDE!" Halfway across I looked back and saw Dude following me, the bear close behind. My pants fell down again. Once across I aided Dude and then gave the cable a shake, sending the bear spirally down the 2 feet to the creek below. It growled in anger.
"Hey Dude!" my companion looked back at me at the sound of my voice," We should get to the top of the next ridge, I saw something on the SAT map."
"Forget it Dude!" he replied, "We are going home to see my mom. She is a personal friend of Papa Smurph, and we still need to see him." There was no way I was going there, It was back the other way.
"I'm going up the ridge, Dude, then when we have a better view we will decide."
"Fine!" He grumbled. W began the trek up the ridge, about halfway up I could hear Dude complaining some more. He called out,"ARE WE AT THE TOP YET?" I'm really tired of all this uphill stuf." What had happened to my fantastical superman buddy? I turned around to reply, "Quit your complaining and TAKE A BREAK if you need to, I think the Bear is still stuck in the creek." He looked even more grumpy at my suggestion and ran past me up the hill, beating me to the top. He grinned,"Hey Dude,GOT A LIGHT?" He held a pack of smokes in his hand.
" No," I answered, " I gave all the supplies to you, remember?" I looked down the hill and saw the bear climbing out of the creek we had dropped him, he looked really, really angry. JUst then a large brown thing with a flat tail came scurrying out of the creek also. The Bear attempted to grab the new arrival, assumably to chuck it at my head. A slap in the Bear's face sent him back into the creek, screaming with anger.
Dude chuckled,"Ahhh, LEAVE IT TO BEAVER!" I grinned also. My pants fell down again. Dude turned to the bush next to him and grabbed some berries and stuffed the into his mouth.
"No, Dude!" I yelled, " That's berries from a LUMIN ARBITER ARCUS tree!" It was too late. Soon Dude was laying on the ground babbling about the secrets of the universe and the flavors of the swirling colors he was undoubtably seeing.
"Dude," he said, " I need to get my STIPES IN SILICIS, I'm expecting the cable bill today." I groaned. Just great. He continued," At 555 the post man comes because the MOONLIGHT drives away the SHADOWS." I felt our chances of survival slipping away every second he babbled. "Dude, can we go to Hersheypark and ride the DINOSAURS PENDULOUSLY?" The drool was flowing freely now from his mouth and his brain.
"No way Dude, we're going to Disney Land", I said as i removed his belt and carbiner, " maybe we can find Papa Smurf there." At the bottom of the hill I saw the Bear finally win his battle with the beaver, It roared in triumph shaking its paws in the air.
Its pants fell down.................