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The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch Traditional Cache

This cache has been archived.

Mr. Ollivander: Archiving listing after no response to prior reviewer action.

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Hidden : 10/1/2014
Difficulty:
1 out of 5
Terrain:
1 out of 5

Size: Size:   micro (micro)

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Geocache Description:

Congrats to JamesEJames and RayDawgRay for 11 consecutive months of FTF. Have a donut.

After that last DNF, here's an exceptionally silly micro in the usual location.
Run away!  Run away!
We'd better not risk another frontal assault, that cache's dynamite. Would it help to confuse it if we run away more?
Let us taunt it!  It may become so cross that it will make a mistake.
Like what?
Well,....
Have we got bows?
No.
 


LAUNCELOT:  We have the Holy Hand Grenade.
  ARTHUR:  Yes, of course!  The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch!  'Tis one
      of the sacred relics Brother Maynard carries with him!  Brother Maynard!
      Bring up the Holy Hand Grenade!
      [singing]
      How does it, uh... how does it work?
  KNIGHT:  I know not, my liege.
  ARTHUR:  Consult the Book of Armaments!
  MAYNARD:  Armaments, Chapter Two, Verses Nine to Twenty-One.
  BROTHER:  "And Saint Atila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying,
      'Oh, Lord, bless this thy hand grenade that with it thou mayest blow
      thy enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.'  And the Lord did grin, and
      people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and carp, and anchovies,
      and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats, and large --"
  MAYNARD:  Skip a bit, Brother.
  BROTHER:  "And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the
      Holy Pin.  Then, shalt thou count to three, no more, no less.  Three
      shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting
      shalt be three.  Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two,
      excepting that thou then proceed to three.  Five is right out.  Once
      the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou
      thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thou foe, who being naughty
      in my sight, shall snuff it.'"
  MAYNARD:  Amen.
  ALL:  Amen.
  ARTHUR:  Right!  One... two... five!
  KNIGHT:  Three, sir!
  ARTHUR:  Three!
      [boom]

Another ridiculous cache in honor of 50 years of Monty Python. Flavor text is from Monty Python and the Holy Grail (scene 33).
With a nod and a wink to Mr. Shell Leavers whom I blame for giving me the idea for Python themed caches in the first place.

Additional Hints (Decrypt)

Whfg xrrc zr pbirerq.Gbb yngr!Vg vf gur pnpur!Lbh fvyyl fbq! Lbh tbg hf nyy jbexrq hc!Jryy, gung'f ab beqvanel pnpur. Gung'f gur zbfg sbhy, pehry, naq onq-grzcrerq uvqr lbh rire frg rlrf ba.Lbh gjvg! V fbvyrq zl nezbe V jnf fb fpnerq!

Decryption Key

A|B|C|D|E|F|G|H|I|J|K|L|M
-------------------------
N|O|P|Q|R|S|T|U|V|W|X|Y|Z

(letter above equals below, and vice versa)