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Christmas 2014 Part 3 Traditional Cache

This cache has been archived.

Nedbirds: On second thought... this cache is likely better off being archived. It has disappeared a few times now, the spot is is highly visible with tons of foot traffic, and cammo is at a minimum. Thank you to all who visited!

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Hidden : 12/23/2014
Difficulty:
1.5 out of 5
Terrain:
1.5 out of 5

Size: Size:   small (small)

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Geocache Description:

This cache is a tribute to the Christmas season 2014.  It is part 3 of 3. We have nicknamed it "The Gift". Maybe you would do us the honor of uploading a picture of you and yours opening some real gifts?


You're looking for a micro in a small tin.  You will need TWEEZERS to get the log out of the micro. Please make sure to put the lid back on firmly.  These lids love to pop off and the micro prevents it from shutting as well as it could.  

The hint is a complete spoiler so don't read it unless you have given up.

The Gift, A Poem by G.P. Staffordshire
Twas the night before Christmas and Santa is a wreck,
How do you live in a world that's overly politically correct?
His workers can no longer be called "Elves",
"Vertically Challenged" is what they’re calling themselves.
And labor conditions at the North Pole,
are alleged by the unions, to stifle the soul.

The reindeer had vanished without much propriety,
released to the wilds, by the Humane Society.
The runners had been removed from his beautiful sleigh,
because the ruts were deemed dangerous by the EPA,
And millions of people were calling the Cops,
when they heard sled noises upon their roof tops.

To show you the strangeness of today's ebbs and flows,
Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose.
He went to Opra, in front of the Nation,
demanding millions in over-due workers compensation.

And as for the gifts, he'd never had the notion
that making a choice could cause such commotion.
Nothing of leather, nothing of fur...
Which meant nothing for him or nothing for her.
Nothing to aim, Nothing to shoot,
Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise.
Nothing for just girls and nothing for just boys.
Nothing that claimed to be gender specific,
Nothing that's warlike or non-pacifistic.

No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth,
and nothing of plastic ‘cause for the landfill it’s uncooth,
all must be good for society's thoughts psychological,
and be okay-ed by everyone as 100% ecological.

No baseball, no football...someone might get hurt,
besides - playing sports exposes kids to dirt.
Dolls were said to be sexist and should be passé,
and no more Nintendo which rots your brain away.

So Santa just stood there, disheveled and perplexed,
he just couldn't figure out what to do next?
Something special was needed, a gift that he might,
give to us all, without angering the left or the right.
A gift that would satisfy - with no indecision,
each group of people in every religion.

So here is that gift,
it's priced beyond any worth,
May you and your loved ones
enjoy peace on the Earth.

Additional Hints (Decrypt)

Ybbx va gur abegu rnfg pbeare bs gur "ebpx tneqra" ol gur tngr. Vs rirelbar chgf vg onpx nf gurl svaq vg, gura vg fubhyq or oruvaq n ynetr ebpx va gur pbeare.

Decryption Key

A|B|C|D|E|F|G|H|I|J|K|L|M
-------------------------
N|O|P|Q|R|S|T|U|V|W|X|Y|Z

(letter above equals below, and vice versa)