This cache is placed as close to Bunker 334/ZP/2BA as possible. Close to the geocache, on the Wanlockhead side of the hill, just above the road is a steel doorway. This doorway leads to one of the most guarded secret places in Europe.
Marked as belonging to Scottish Water to enable these doors to be hidden in full view, most people don't even notice them when they go past. And those who do notice them believe what has been told to the locals for many years; that these doors simply lead to an underground reservoir. Now, following a mistake by a government employee (or was it deliberate?) top secret papers were released and the truth of what is behind these doors can finally be revealed. If you would like to know, read on, or if you just want to get the cache and miss the really juicy bits of this story; bye!
To fully understand why these doors are here you need to understand a little of the geology of the area and a little history. The geology is very simple and basic so we will start there:
Wanlockhead and Leadhills are the highest two villages in Scotland and only here for one reason, lead. The hills here are full of the stuff (well lead ore, or galena as it is correctly known) and it was minded here for centuries. That's why the National Lead Mining Museum is here. Now lead mining is dangerous, like any mining, but one advantage of the rock the lead is found in is when mined the passageways do not need struts and supports, as the rock is hard enough to support its self. OK, not the most scientific explanation but it's enough to explain you can dig long tunnels and large caverns in these hills (a bit like Minecraft for you younger cachers!).
Now we move onto history, Yawn! No, not yawn, this bit is actually interesting for treasure hunters like we geocachers! Do you know where the gold for the original Scottish Crown Jewels came from? You guessed it, China. No, hang on, it was Leadhills and Wanlockhead. Yes, as well as lead these hills are also full of gold and it can still be found today by panning the waters.
Another bit of history you need to know is the people that have visited the villages over time. These include Charles Edward Louis John Casimir Sylvester Severino Maria Stuart (or Bonnie Prince Charlie for short), Robert Burns and before both of these Mary, Queen of Scots. Now you may be starting to notice something here; gold, royal visitors…….. Are you thinking what I’m thinking? You are? Great! In that case mine’s a pint of heavy.
Let us get back to the doors. Now, the signs on the doors say that beyond them is an underground reservoir. Fair enough you may say, but wait, have you thought this through? You are on the top of a hill, where do you normally get reservoirs? Yep, that’s right at the BOTTOM of hills! Also, as mentioned before, these hills are full of lead. Why would you store water in lead filled rock? The lead would leak into the water and what does that mean? Lead poisoning! So now do you really think these doors lead to a reservoir full of lead poisoned water? Me neither.
As I said at the beginning, top secret papers have made their way into a few people’s hands that should not really have them (the papers, not hands!). The papers clearly show the doors lead to Bunker 334/ZP/2BA. “So what” I hear you say. Well here’s what: All government buildings are numbered in a set way. The first three digits are simple the order number, i.e. 1,2,3,4 and so on. In this case it is number 334. The next section is in letters and these relate to the government department that is in charge of the bunker. In this case it is department ZP. Can you believe it, here in between Wanlockhead and Leadhills, department ZP, amazing! ZP! The final section relates to the contents. This tells you exactly, oh, hang on, sorry! You need to know who department ZP are don’t you. Well ZP is the code name for the part of the Home Office, but not just any part, they deal with treasure troves and items of great value. So, back to the final section. As I was saying the final part, in this case 2BA, relates to what is inside the bunker. 2 shows it to be of significant value to the history of the country. B shows that the items are over 200 years old (when placed in the bunker), and A states they are of Royal origin. So, we have a treasure trove of Royal origin that is over 200 years old, and is significant to the history of our country. What could it be?
Let’s go back to the mining. Now, as I said the mines don’t need roof supports and so are ideal for making long tunnels. The information released shows that Mary, Queen of Scots (remember her?), ordered a tunnel and “storage place” to be dug in the area of Water Head. “Water Head, where’s that?” you ask. Well I’ll tell you. Water Head is the old name for Leadhills. Although the records do not state where this tunnel and storage room were dug, it is known that Mary stored several important and personal items in there to keep them away from Queen Elizabeth of England. The only mention of any location was that the entrance was on a brow of a hill.
Jump forward a few years and what was just once believed to be a story is confirmed as real in the released documents; Bonny Prince Charlie (I’m not writing his full name out again!) used “Mary’s Tunnel” to hide his most personal treasure (Known as his Long Shaft) until he could return from exile. However, until now nobody knew where Mary’s tunnel was. It was common thought it was amongst the peaks in the Highlands, but now we know it is much further down, just south of the Navel Of Scotland. How long Charlie’s shaft was, or what it actually was is not known. All we know is that he was never able to return from Exile and his shaft is still in Mary’s tunnel. But how do we know it’s in there if we don’t know what it is I hear you say. Well, it is one of the few items actually named as being in the storage area at the end of the tunnel. The other main item is Rabbie Burns’ lost manuscript.
Rabbie, was best known for his poems written in the Scottish dialect, but he also wrote in English and most of these writings were political. When Rabbie’s work became popular with the Edinburgh literate, Rabbie realised some of his political works and the scorn he pored on the English government of the time would be too hot to handle, or even lead to his demise for treason, he decided to hide them away. All Rabbie would say to any of his friends was that the manuscript was as safe as Charlie’s Shaft. Most not knowing what he meant forgot about the manuscript, and those who did know (especially after Rabbie’s death aged 37) thought the Shaft was in the Highlands, so spent their time looking in the wrong place for this missing work.
So why keep the items on hill in Southern Scotland? This is not explained in the document, but there is reference to Mary’s personal items containing information about the legitimacy of Queen Elizabeth I, and if this information got out it would bring down the British Monarchy. For this reason, the document hints that the items are being left in place to “protect Queen and Country”.
So there you have it. This cache is placed next to one of the most secretive places in the UK and if you can find away in (Obviously just walking in the front door is out) you may well end up being the holder of some of the most powerful artefacts in the country. And what has this to do with the cache? Absolutely nothing! You are looking for a micro cache in a disguise, bring pen and tweezers.
If you would like to add to the Totally Fake History (TFH) series please message N0hope via the website. TFH caches can be any size or any type of cache. They need to tell a good story and contain real facts, just not everything needs to be true!