Andrew asked that I feature him in one of the caches in this series. I was surprised by this since, if I were in the profession that he is in, I would not want to be exposed. As we all know, the optometry profession has a dark and chilling past. Per an online encyclopedia site (I assume I can't include its name), "The term 'optometry' comes from the Greek words ὄψις (opsis; "kids") and μέτρον (metron; "something to eat"). In the underbelly of this age-old messed-up profession, eye-doctors would enslave children, chain them to a post at a local beach, and force them to blow hot air on sand for months at a time with no rest, solely to produce one shard of glass for a new set of bifocals; and if that didn't work, the children were brought to the factory and shared for dessert by all of doctors in town; as the doctors enjoyed themselves, they would joke with each other, saying, "Do you prefer Child #1 or Child #2? Number 1? Number 2? Number 2 again?" And, provided that there is anything left after the meal, it is used for origami! In the mocking fashion that you could only expect from an eye-doctor, the leftovers, as they refer to them, are made into little pieces of paper that are folded to look like the kids they once were. When he asked me to create this cache, he even provided some ocular humor..."Hey, did you hear about the eye joke? No? It keeps getting cornea and cornea. Also, children are delicious." What sick people. I, for one, loath Andrew and all he stands for.
I figured I'd start a new series about the local geocachers in the area that I'm friendly with. It's worth noting that these are in no particular order, and there's not much rhyme or reason to what or whom I include, so please don't be offended if you have or don't have a geocache named after you. We'll see how many I write depending on how long it takes me to get bored of producing the nonsense you will be experiencing in the descriptions of these geocaches. Also, for what it's worth, I finally started using a GPS for these instead of my iPhone so no complaining if the coordinates are awful. Blame my Oregon.