Ferengi Rules of Acquisition Mystery Cache
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Ferengi Rules of Acquisition
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Difficulty:
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Terrain:
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Size: 
(large)
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Rule #25: "You can't make a deal if you're dead."*
Can you apply the
Ferengi RULES OF ACQUISITION?
Hello HuMahns. Do you think you have the lobes to acquire this cache find? I don't think so either*. But we all want more caches and as Rule #10 says, "Greed is eternal."
There is nothing at the posted coordinates. I'd be in big trouble with the Federation if I did that. Everything you need to find the first stage is on this page. Read between the lines and remember Rule #64, "Win or lose, there's always Hupyrian beetle snuff."
The first stage will send you to stage two. There is one stage for each of the 285 Ferengi Rules of Acquisition, and the placement of each one illustrates the rule. Each stage has the coordinates of the next one. So if you cannot find one stage, well, you're screwed. But as Rule #9 says "Small print leads to large risk," which is all yours. Don't start whining. I probably won't provide any more hints and don't even think about emailing me unless you can beg in an amusing way. As Rule #33 says, "It never hurts to suck up to the boss."
I urge you to apply the Velocity of Wealth, also known as Rule #33, and prepare to work long and hard on this one. I have a few suggestions. You can thank me later, preferably with a few bars of gold-pressed latinum.
1. Rule #85 reminds us, "Never let the competition know what you're thinking." Who needs a stinkin' partner? Why share the glory?
2. If a stage is missing, look on the ground and watch your ankles. See Rule #82. I did my best, but remember that Gree worms have razor sharp teeth and I don't know how long these Groundspeak containers will hold up to that kind of abuse.
3. Be stealthy and quiet. Most locations can get you busted by the locals if you squeal when you find the stage. Remember Rule #168.
4. I'm trying to wear you down by putting out more stages than the average humahn can count. But remember Rule 280, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." Don't mess with my stages. Don't try to "fix" them or beam them to another location or fill them with tribbles. Funny won't get you to the next stage.
5. I hope you don't find the cache. Then I get to keep all of the fantastic swag myself. Rule #200, "A Ferengi chooses no side but his own."
* Rule #69: "Ferengi are not responsible for the stupidity of other races."
Additional Hints
(Decrypt)
Ehyr #29