While we were seeking means of capturing unsuspecting earth creatures, a slow-witted pair that called themselves Kelsoboom and Marzenbac stumbled upon our landing zone. After we captured them and subjected them to the standard battery of probes, their memories were wiped clean and they were sent on their way none the wiser. They left behind a container that held strange primitive artifacts whose significance at first eluded us. But then we did some research on your primitive "Internet" and learned that we could entice more earthling test subjects to visit.
Backward earth creatures lacking rudimentary anti-gravity technology will have to hike on their lower appendages a distance of several flemtofreems. Because some of the travel involves poor or non-existent trails, we have generously granted the puny earthings some extra terrain points. Come visit our site, even though you won't remember anything! YOUR SUPERIOR WEAPONS ARE NO MATCH FOR OUR PUNY INTELLECT!!! BWAHAHAHA!!!