This just in: Beloved British tv personality, Nigel the Gnome, has been kidnapped. The National Crime Agency has reported the abduction was perpetrated by Angus Harhar. Harhar, a full-time criminal and part-time street musician, was arrested early this morning during a raid on his home after an anonymous tip. He has refused to reveal the whereabouts of Nigel the Gnome, who has been missing for 3 days and believed to be somewhere in the U.S., but has given authorities a list of what seems to be random numbers that he says will help in the release of his victim. During interrogation, Harhar had this to say, "If you find the shack I threw him in, play this. Then figure out the rest of it to the very bloody end. The last 3 will do it." As to why the abduction, Harhar stated that Nigel learned of a planned attack that was to take place somewhere in the U.K. All law agencies are on full alert.
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