Beim Briefdienst ärbt ne garstsche Fraa,
die nät racht unnerscheidn kah
oder ahm dauernd vorgisst,
wos Wärbung un wos wischtisch is.
Dä Rachnung schmeißt sä voller Wonne
nei in unnre blaue Tonne.
Un ah dä Mahnungen lassn sä kalt:
Unerwünscht, weil: kostet Gald.
Nur beim Blähboi tut sä dorwehschn,
scheeds mol bissl überlehschn.
Scheeds Mol blattert sä drinne rum,
bis die Heftln nein Briefkastn kumm.
In Nachbor seine Post is digital,
dos is wie bissl optimal.
Der muss ni zum Briefkasten latschn
Un dauernd mit dor Postfraa quatschen.
Emil tut dann sei Brieftraachor heißn,
dann kah mor ni su leicht bescheißn.
Unerwünschtes tut der sammeln
Un nei de blaue Spam-Bix rammeln.
Auch die Wichtel folgen dem digitalen Zeitalter und habe sich einen Computer zugelegt. Jeden Tag erhalten sie neben unzählige Briefen auch Wünsche per Mail. Schaut euch einmal folgende Nachricht an. Diese hat der Computer-Wichtel aus dem Spam-Ordner gefischt. Mit allen anderen Mails konnte er etwas anfangen, nur mit dieser nicht:
Dear E-Commerce professional ; This letter was specially selected to be sent to you . This is a one time mailing there is no need to request removal if you won't want any more . This mail is being sent in compliance with Senate bill 1916 , Title 6 , Section 304 . This is NOT unsolicited bulk mail ! Why work for somebody else when you can become rich in 54 DAYS . Have you ever noticed most everyone has a cellphone and most everyone has a cellphone . Well, now is your chance to capitalize on this . WE will help YOU use credit cards on your website & decrease perceived waiting time by 200% . You can begin at absolutely no cost to you . But don't believe us ! Mr Anderson who resides in Illinois tried us and says "My only problem now is where to park all my cars" ! We are a BBB member in good standing . If not for you then for your LOVED ONES - act now ! Sign up a friend and you get half off ! God Bless . Dear Web surfer ; This letter was specially selected to be sent to you . If you no longer wish to receive our publications simply reply with a Subject: of "REMOVE" and you will immediately be removed from our mailing list ! This mail is being sent in compliance with Senate bill 1627 ; Title 6 , Section 308 ! This is different than anything else you've seen . Why work for somebody else when you can become rich inside 29 days . Have you ever noticed people love convenience and people love convenience . Well, now is your chance to capitalize on this ! WE will help YOU use credit cards on your website & decrease perceived waiting time by 170% ! The best thing about our system is that it is absolutely risk free for you . But don't believe us . Ms Ames of Missouri tried us and says "I've been poor and I've been rich - rich is better" ! We assure you that we operate within all applicable laws . You will blame yourself forever if you don't order now ! Sign up a friend and you'll get a discount of 20% ! God Bless . Dear Cybercitizen , Especially for you - this cutting-edge announcement . If you no longer wish to receive our publications simply reply with a Subject: of "REMOVE" and you will immediately be removed from our mailing list ! This mail is being sent in compliance with Senate bill 1620 , Title 2 ; Section 301 . This is NOT unsolicited bulk mail ! Why work for somebody else when you can become rich within 98 months . Have you ever noticed society seems to be moving faster and faster and nearly every commercial on television has a .com on in it ! Well, now is your chance to capitalize on this . WE will help YOU process your orders within seconds plus sell more ! You can begin at absolutely no cost to you . But don't believe us . Prof Anderson of Iowa tried us and says "My only problem now is where to park all my cars" . This offer is 100% legal ! If not for you then for your LOVED ONES - act now ! Sign up a friend and you'll get a discount of 60% . Cheers . Dear Internet user , Your email address has been submitted to us indicating your interest in our newsletter ! This is a one time mailing there is no need to request removal if you won't want any more . This mail is being sent in compliance with Senate bill 2216 ; Title 7 ; Section 305 . THIS IS NOT MULTI-LEVEL MARKETING . Why work for somebody else when you can become rich within 57 weeks ! Have you ever noticed society seems to be moving faster and faster and nobody is getting any younger ! Well, now is your chance to capitalize on this ! WE will help YOU turn your business into an E-BUSINESS & decrease perceived waiting time by 110% ! You can begin at absolutely no cost to you . But don't believe us . Ms Anderson who resides in Alabama tried us and says "I was skeptical but it worked for me" ! We assure you that we operate within all applicable laws . So make yourself rich now by ordering immediately ! Sign up a friend and your friend will be rich too . Thank-you for your serious consideration of our offer . Dear Sir or Madam ; We know you are interested in receiving red-hot news . We will comply with all removal requests . This mail is being sent in compliance with Senate bill 1623 ; Title 4 ; Section 309 ! This is a ligitimate business proposal ! Why work for somebody else when you can become rich in 14 days . Have you ever noticed society seems to be moving faster and faster plus most everyone has a cellphone . Well, now is your chance to capitalize on this ! WE will help YOU turn your business into an E-BUSINESS & process your orders within seconds . You are guaranteed to succeed because we take all the risk ! But don't believe us . Prof Ames of Iowa tried us and says "Now I'm rich, Rich, RICH" ! This offer is 100% legal ! So make yourself rich now by ordering immediately . Sign up a friend and you'll get a discount of 50% . Thank-you for your serious consideration of our offer ! Dear Friend ; We know you are interested in receiving hot news . If you no longer wish to receive our publications simply reply with a Subject: of "REMOVE" and you will immediately be removed from our mailing list . This mail is being sent in compliance with Senate bill 2416 , Title 1 ; Section 305 ! This is different than anything else you've seen ! Why work for somebody else when you can become rich inside 10 WEEKS . Have you ever noticed society seems to be moving faster and faster & the baby boomers are more demanding than their parents ! Well, now is your chance to capitalize on this . WE will help YOU increase customer response by 150% and use credit cards on your website ! You are guaranteed to succeed because we take all the risk . But don't believe us . Prof Simpson who resides in Nebraska tried us and says "I was skeptical but it worked for me" . We assure you that we operate within all applicable laws ! Do not go to sleep without ordering . Sign up a friend and your friend will be rich too . Thanks .