Come for food, drink, and of course the company! You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll get seconds.
Oh, and games! And prizes!† Did I mention that?
Standard rules apply: if you don't want to eat, just tell the cashier that you're there for the geocaching event.
Apply only to the affected area. May be too intense for some attendees. Reproduction strictly prohibited. This is a work in progress and subject to change. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. This is not an offer to sell securities.
Shake well before using. No user-serviceable parts inside. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. For official use only. Slippery when wet. Colors may, in time, fade. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential damages resulting from any detect, error, or failure to perform.
At participating locations only. Penalty for private use. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Avoid contact with skin. Beware of dog. You must be present to win. No purchase necessary. Some restrictions apply. Celebrity voices impersonated. Use only in a well-ventilated area. Keep away from fire or flames. Keep out of reach of children. Some equipment shown is optional.
Price does not include taxes. No alcohol, dogs, or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. First pull up, then pull down. Take only as directed. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this announcement appear for identifications purposes only. Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear.
Do not fold, spindle, or mutilate. Package sold by weight, not volume. This page left intentionally blank. I just work here. Your mileage may vary. Transmission of this information is not intended to create, and receipt does not constitute, an attorney-client relationship. Use at your own risk.
All rights reserved. Close cover before striking. Additional charges may apply.
This supersedes all previous notices.
*Of course, I'm only kidding, I think that the dynamics of a part-time wintering community are unique and special -- absence makes the heart grow fonder and that sort of thing -- and that the so-called "snowbirds" bring a significant benefit to the community and we're lucky to have them. They're just, in this case, an easy target because of the proximity of their return. And I'm hoping they're all back by now so that they can join in the joke anyway, and if not I trust they'll see this and know that we truly love and appreciate them all.
†Ok, but to be fair the bar is pretty low here so they may not be fun games or desirable prizes. But since when do you come to these things for swag?? :)