"We would be mortified if we had stooped to such levels and our response will be trenchant", General Gorby Gorbachov is quoted as saying.

"We were dismayed by the antagonistic display of appalling behaviour by an NSA pissant. Notwithstanding my having agreed the rules of engagement between the Generals, the puissant NSA General could not keep his troops in line." Not even recent press coverage on the "Christmas Truce Miracle" as reported in the NZ Herald could persuade the NSA that it was inappropriate to ridicule the Belligerantz for working to keep this Great Country moving rather than play war games. However, no such benignant behaviour or courtesy was being extended. While the Christmas Truce miracle of World War I was a century old distant memory, it should not have been forgotten. But it is hardly surprising in this new age of Trumpism, Fake News and alternative facts. Clearly goodwill to fellow man is not recognised and appreciated in 2017, and the Peninsular Wars will have to play out for some time before diplomacy may bring those other better human traits into effect.

The Belligerantz rallied and met up on Boxing Day calling in help from friends in Canada and the winter dormant bear. Sitting round the crepitant fire we fantasised about the extravagant response that we would bestow upon the enemy. We carefully evaluated the weapons of choice and the tactics needed to achieve this. The choice was to team up with two personnel per attack group. One in the couchant position while the other loaded the significant weapon meant a major advantage would soon be had. A timer delay also has meant the propellant could be fired after sufficient time for the Belligerantz infantry to move clear.

"Mortar Fired!"