*NOTE* Cache is not located at the posted coordinates. The yarn below is completely made up nonsense and in no way reflects on the fruit store at the virtual coordinates, my preferred place to shop for fruit and vegetables!
I was at the counter of my local fruit and vegatable store the other day with a basket full of tomatoes (did you know the tomato is technically a berry?!) when I realised the poor condition of the tomatoes. I asked the lady serving me behind the counter why they didn't look so good to which she replied "The jungle consumes everything. It preys on the old, the sick, the wounded. It preys on the weak, but never the strong."
Unaware that tomatoes actually grew in the jungle and suspicious of her reply, I informed the check out operator just how dangerous growing tomatoes in the jungle would be. To this, she looked at me quizzically before smiling. "I have never worn pantyhose but it sounds very dangerous."
Unsure just how dangerous pantyhose could be and not sure what it had to do with my withered basket of tomatoes, I pushed her for further answers but received zero reply.
I had recently returned from Italy, where they knew what a good tomato was and how to use it properly. I brought this up with the fruit store worker in order to show her that I did indeed know what I was talking about. This got a reaction, although not what I necessarily expected. She turned up her nose in disdain and replied "You're a world class liar, darling. Go out there and lie for Italy."
Shocked and realising this was getting me nowhere, I challenged her to eat one of the mouldy red delights in my basket. She downright refused with some weak excuse about her diet. Questioning what type of diet she was on I was told "I am on an all protein diet, but I am also doing carbs!"
She immediately had the cheek to ask what I would know about diets given my advanced age. When I quickly brought up the fact I was only 27, she looked at me in disgust and said "Yeah, but that's like 59 in Bunny Years".
By now I was infuriated with my lack of progress in finding out why my tomatoes were going brown and squishy. Explaining that I only wanted a short answer and wasn't here for a marathon argument, she cackled wickedly. "You can't win a marathon without putting a few bandaids on your nipples!" she said through her evil laughter.
I threw the basket of tomatoes onto the counter and pleaded with her to look for herself. She looked in at the rotten tomatoes in the basket but it was almost like she was staring right through them. Desperately I asked if she could see what I was talking about but her dreamy reply was "No one can see a bubble. That's what makes it a bubble."
This was the straw that broke the camels back. I tipped the tomatoes over her head before picking up my pen (you had to bring your own to this store) and storming out. As I got to the door I could hear another customer at another checkout: These Tomatoes don't look so good!