Gabba Rabba Hey!
The mid 14th century was a dark time for the Church. In 1462, Cardinal Dalité Savinstimé was elected Pope by a single vote. Apparently, the clocks of every other Cardinal had been mysteriously moved back one hour, and they were all late for the vote. The call: "Habemus Papam" was made and Savinstimé took the name 'Antiochus I', Bishop of Rome.
Immediately upon his election, Antiochus I had an epiphany. He decided that all liturgical music should have vapid lyrics, be sung in the melodies of common children's songs and played primarily on the hollow-bodied harp.
He took to the balcony of St. Peter's and proclaimed: "Though the Mountains May Fall, we should Be not Afraid! We should Sing a New Song! Like a Shepherd in the City of God, we should Sing to the Mountains; 'Here I am, Lord! Blest be the Lord!'."
He went to a local bathhouse and found two out-of-work musicians, Daniel Schutteus and Robertus Duffordius, passed out in a sauna. Antiochus dressed them, sobered them up and set upon them the task of re-inventing liturgical music, and thus, the Missale Heritaginus was born.
This publication of desolation was placed in every church of the Roman Rite and was met with mixed reviews.
One family, the Ramonabee brothers: Josephus, D. Deicus, Thomas and Johannes Ramonabee, fought against this liturgical revolution
They wrote their own hymnal in their garage. These new hymns were raw and edgy, and appealing to a younger congregation, they became quite popular.
Their liturgical hits included hymns like:
Now I wanna sniff some incense
Beat on my shin (with a di-sci-pline)
Teenage Theology
Peter's way Beach
I wanna be incardinated
... And many more ...
Pope Antiochus I judged their music to be "too rigid" and had the entire family sent to St. Luke's monastery for 'rehabilitation'
Pax
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