Cache is a black bison tube. It contains only a logbook. Please BYOP and replace it as found. The cache is not at the posted coordinates. To get them, you must solve the puzzle.
The Puzzle
the cacher's phone pings-
dang, not another puzzle!
I'll be here all night ...
To start, determine the quantity of the above. It should be a 3 digit number (digital root is 8). Multiply it by 1000. Add 2000. Remove two zeroes at the end, subtract 5, and locate the nation that has this area by square kilometers exactly inside of their borders (as of 2016). Count the amount of letters in the capital's name. Divide by 2, round up if needed, and determine who played Dante. The year he married his spouse minus 1000 is the next key. Find the anglicized nickname of the Scottish king who died in this year. The second word of the nickname is the next keyword. If this happened in the army, the words used would be the answer you should put into the geochecker to get your green light and the coordinates. Good luck.
You can validate your puzzle solution with certitude.