Your Average Low-Life Cacher!
This is a puzzle cache. It is not at the listed coordinates. To obtain the cache coordinates, please solve the following puzzle.
This cache is part of The Atoz Sequence series. Click here for more information.
Beat, bilk, bleed, cheat, chisel, chouse, con, cozen, defraud, diddle, do, euchre, fiddle, fleece, flimflam, gaff, gyp, hose, hustle, mulct, nobble, pluck, ream, rip off, rook, screw, shake down, short, shortchange, skin, skunk, squeeze, stick, stiff, sting, sucker, swindle, thimblerig, victimize. Thanks, Merriam, I think I like "hustle" best - and it's a great BBC series as well!
Hustle #1: Challenge Schmallenge
7oakley, you have a new message from Seawind! : Desperate! I solved your puzzle, Station Keeping & was positive I loaded the coordinates this morning. They're not coming up! I'm on my way out of state for six months! This was my main goal cause I need it for the challenge, 50 Puzzles with Initials SK in 10 Days! I've found 49 puzzles and there's only 3 hours left! PLEASE, PLEASE send me the final coordinates. I rilly did solve the puzzle and it was terrif! Thank You so, so much!
Seawind, you have a new message from 7oakley! : You're in luck as I've got the coordinates right here: N 45 35.096 W 122 52.985 Good luck with the challenge!
Hustle #2: Forest Flimflam
In which we hear Seawind's side of a cell phone conversation : OmNom! Hey, it's Seawind...Yeah, hi! Hey, I'm out here in Forest Park and like totally lost!...Yes, that's actually why I'm calling - I did find your new puzzle cache! It's the best! BUT, now I'm completely lost. Been wandering for six hours!...Yeah, six! Getting desperate and I haven't seen anyone at all for 2 hours now. I'm trying to get back to your new puzzle cache but like an idiot, I deleted it from my GPS...Yes, I know!...Hey, can you read me the final coordinates again? Then, I can get back to your cache and then out of this park!...Sure, I can wait...N 45 33.165 W 122 45.073 ...Oh, man, you are the best! I really appreciate that! See you on the trail soon!
Hustle #3: Frog, Fleeced
Email from Temp1 (a bogus user created by Seawind) to CrunchyFrog83 : Hi, I've never even heard of this geocashing thing. I was out in my back yard and a cute little plastic box came floating down the stream! I fished it out and found lots of strange toy things and a sheet of wet paper that led me to this site and your name. Looks important! It says it's The Patchword Puzzle. I would be glad to put it back where it belongs for you. In fact, it would be a good exercise for my new Nuvi. If you'll send me the GSP #s I can do it this afternoon. Maybe I'll check out this geo thing too!
Email from CrunchyFrog83 to Temp1 : Thank you very much! I was wondering if that one had gone missing. Enter this in your Nuvi and let me know if you have any problems: N 45 26.855 W 122 51.176 And thanks!
Hustle #4: Blatant Blackmail
10:14 AM - NWGeoGuy, you have a new message from Seawind! : Right to the point. I have hacked into your GroupWise calendar and see your little lunch meeting scheduled for next Monday. Six clients from New York and Chicago. Hmmm, must be very, very important for you to impress them. And at Mucca Osteria, no less. Wow! Well, it seems I have booked the table right next to yours and have hired a group of the seven most nasty and disruptive diners you could possibly imagine. They are fired up, hungry and ready to party! Only you can prevent this imminent catastrophe. If I receive a reply to this message in the next 24 hours, complete with the final coordinates for your impossible puzzle cache, MBA, BMA or AMB, then I will relocate my awful little group to Wendy's.
10:16 AM - Seawind, you have a new message from NWGeoGuy! : N 45 29.071 W 122 59.778
Hustle #5: Something Phishy
Seawind's pathetic puzzle-solving ability is made up for by a remarkable ability to spoof an email address...
Email from CacheRevuR to charliewhiskey : Your puzzle cache GC5U8DX has been brought to my attention. Unfortunately, we have experienced severe database problems and have lost part of your listing, including the final coordinates. Rest assured we have the matter well under control. However, in order to expedite timely repairs and keep your puzzle active, please respond to this email with the final coordinates and I will ensure they are reestablished correctly. Due to ongoing server instability, please send them directly to me rather than attempting to enter them back into the listing. We regret any inconvenience this may have caused.
Email from charliewhiskey to CacheRevuR : I'm sorry to hear of the difficulties. GC5U8DX is at N 45 31.190 W 122 55.940. Do you need any of my other puzzle coordinates?
Email from CacheRevuR to charliewhiskey : Why, yes, that would be VERY helpful...
Hustle #6: The One and Only
jewilk1, you have a new message from Seawind! : Good Morning! As one of my favorite cachers, I wanted to make this opportunity available to you first. How would you like to be the only cacher ever to "solve" and find my pending puzzle cache, Utterly Impossible? The cache listing will have nothing but the following two images:
Unbeknownst to all but you and me, those images mean nothing at all. The puzzle will be completely unsolvable. Everyone but you will spend hour upon hour trying every trick in the book, all to no avail. And, the cache will be hidden in such a way that it will be totally impossible to find without the exact coordinates.
However, if we can come to an agreement, I will supply you only with those exact coordinates. All I ask in return is the solution for your puzzle, Abridged in PDX, which, despite having been logged 12 times, I have found...utterly impossible!
Cheers!
Seawind, you have a new message from jewilk1! : What a great idea! Sounds like a deal. N 45 32.337 W 122 53.500. How soon do you plan to submit Utterly Impossible?
Hustle #7: Beam Me Up!
Entry in document, Notes for 'Exploits of a Legendary Geocacher' stored on Seawind's PC (watch for this new worldwide bestseller at your local bookstore!):
Section Three: Solving Puzzle Caches
Chapter Five: Integrity Cast to the Four Winds
Method Nineteen: Conning the Geocaching Hiker
Is there a hike to the cache location? This presents another opportunity. Start by contacting someone who has solved the puzzle but not yet logged it (check the Checker!). Tell them you have solved the puzzle (which you haven't) and ask if they would like to join you for the hike. Mention that you've heard it is very hard to find and "four eyes are better than two". This will invoke images of hours spent uselessly searching a rocky mountainside.
Ask where they would like to meet and the best way to drive to that location. The meeting location will be a clue by itself. But, there is an even better prospect for success here. When you meet your target at the trailhead, assume a disgusted expression and say:
"Ah, shucks! I forgot to load the coordinates! Hey, would you beam them to me?"
Note that beaming is especially effective since it shifts the target's attention away from your suspicious-sounding request and onto their GPS receiver. Puzzle-solvers, especially the techie gadget lover ones, can never resist a beam request!
Hustle #8: A Few Dollars More
Method Twenty-Five: Money, Money, Money
No phishies biting yet? Try sending the owner an email:
"Hi! I solved your Dewey Decimal Danger puzzle and found the cache yesterday. Loved it! Unfortunately, I lost my wallet and I'm pretty sure it's at the cache. It has $2,500 in cash in it (I just sold a car). But, I'm out of town for several days and can't get back there to check for it. I hate to ask, but would you be so kind as to run over there and grab it for me and hold it till I get back? It's worth a big reward, of course."
If the cache owner falls for this, simply hide in the bushes at the Suggested Parking Coordinates from the listing, wait for them to show up, follow them to the cache site, wait for them to search fruitlessly for your wallet, then swoop in for the cache grab as soon as they leave!
Hustle #9: Transmission Interrupt
Email from Seawind to mudder91 : I think I have solved Ptld2016's Down, Up and Around puzzle. Looks like you have too. Did you get the same as I did? I have: N
MIME 025292 TRANSMISSION INTERRUPT
---- EMAIL MESSAGE TRUNCATED ----
INTERMEDIATE NODE 14A-232v
NO FURTHER INFORMATION AVAILABLE
Email from mudder91 to Seawind : Hi, I got your message but it got cut off!! Weird. I loved that puzzle. I have N 45 31.894 W 122 51.913. Is that what you got?
Email from Seawind to mudder91 : Yep, that's what I've got all right! Great, and thanks!
Hustle #10: High Praise
In which GeoNGinEar and Seawind have a digital conversation:
SW: Hi Geo, I just wanted to introduce myself and let you know I just solved your Intriguing Parallels puzzle (he didn't). Wow, that was, hands down, the BEST puzzle I have ever solved, and the hide was spectacular. You do incredible work!
GN: Oh, well, thank you! I appreciate that and good job on the puzzle. I didn't think it was anything very special, though, but it's great you do. And the hide is as ordinary as you can get. It's been found 17 times, and no Favorites yet, so maybe you can be the first.
SW: I've solved a LOT of puzzles, and this one truly is by far the best. By the way, how did you get so lucky in picking such a terrific place for the cache?
GN: Well, it's just a neighborhood park. I work at Symantec, which is just around the corner, so it was convenient. That's all.
SW: Ahhh, I see. But the hide itself is truly amazing! What made you think of that?
GN: It's just another lamppost cache. I'm sure you've seen a few of those, but glad you liked it!
SW: I thought it was incredibly clever! But, how did you decide which lamp post to use?
GN: Well...there's already a cache in the NW corner and it's such a small park that I really could only use the post right in the very SE corner of the park.
GN: (Later that same day) Thanks for the log and the Favorite! I have a question for you, now. That's kind of a tough puzzle, I admit. How did you go about solving it?
GN: (Two weeks later) Hey, Seawind, not sure if you got my last message, but I was curious how you went about solving Intriguing Parallels?
SW: (Three months later) Hi, Geo. Man, I just found your cache A Whole New Frontier and it was absolutely fantastic! Say, where did you find that great cache container?
Hustle #11: Full Reverse
Email to lwestbroetje from (Spoof Alert) rsmith@asre.com : Ron Smith of the American Society of Reverse Engineering here. Our society is dedicated to supporting the miracle of reverse engineering. Every year, we hold a conference and contest in Pennsylvania. Your puzzle, Inside or Outside? came to my attention as it would be perfect for the contest. Would you supply the solution coordinates?
We will then reverse-engineer it in our contest! Oh, and I would be glad to send you a check for $500 as an expression of our gratitude!
Email to RSmith@ASRE.com from lwestbroetje : Wow, I'm honored! The answer is: N GO JU.MPI W NTH EL.AKE. Your reputation precedes you, Seawind.
Hustle #12: I'vy Fooled You!
TrekkingTurtles, you have a new message from Seawind! : Hi! Hey, I just solved and found your latest puzzle cache! It was fantastic, but did you know there is a TON of poison ivy growing all around the cache?? Nasty stuff! I just wanted to let you know!
Seawind, you have a new message from TrekkingTurtles! : Um, I don't think so. No poison ivy around a lamp post right in the middle of the Beaverton City Library parking lot!
TrekkingTurtles, you have a new message from Seawind! : Ooops! Looks like I switched a couple of digits! Got it right away, and no poison ivy! Thank you. You couldn't have been any more helpful!
Hustle #13: Bless the Beasts
High Priority email to SpockProf from (Spoof, Spoof!) docriley@hlthsys.com : (Urgent) I'm an ER doc at Western and I've got a patient here, a geocacher, who was bitten a few minutes ago by a feral Bytenunis Viciousaustomus. It was right at your puzzle cache, Sublight. He'll be okay in a few months, but I need to get that animal relocated to the wild before anyone else is attacked. My patient isn't able to tell me the exact location, but if you will send me the coordinates, I'll have Animal Control right over there. Thanks.
Email to docriley@hlthsys.com from SpockProf : Well, I've heard there's some Seawind shenanigans going around, but this sounds legit. It's at N 45 33.429 W 122 51.843. Good luck!
Hustle #14 Far Distant Lands
NoBucksRanch, you have a new message from EncontrandoDiversion! (and we know who it really is) : Hola! I'm a cacher in Santa Cruz de la Sierra, in Bolivia. The chances of my getting to the US are about 1% and finding your puzzles 0%! But, my friend UtterlyMiserable IS going to Oregon! He is going through a bit of a rough patch and the only way to cheer him up would be for me to set up a trail of Oregon caches to find. I especially want him to find your puzzle, Psyferred!, but I don't know if the final is along the route I have planned. Would you send me the coordinates for that one? UtterlyMiserable and I truly thank you! Gracias!
EncontrandoDiversion!, you have a new message from NoBucksRanch! : Always glad to help a fellow cacher! N 45 32.972 W 122 49.395.
Hustle #15 Preceded by Reputation
Hi eyekwilt2! Seawind here. Could you help me out! I'm out looking for your new puzzle, but I just dropped my GPS in the mud and now it won't turn on. Do you have those coords handy by any chance? Thanks!
~~~~~~~~~~
Seawind, sure. I've been hearing a lot about you lately. It's at N 45 32.011 W 122 59.910. Be careful!
~~~~~~~~~~
Um, sorry, me again, but I just went over there and it's right in the middle of I-5. Could you double check the numbers please?
~~~~~~~~~~
Oh dear, so sorry! You're right, I did mess up. Here, try these: N 59 32.037 W 75 21.118 Look under the rafters on the north side!
Hustle #16 Frog, Retargeted
Email from Seawind (emboldened by success) to CrunchyFrog83 : Kind of fond of the CF83 name are we? Well, you know what CFs really are, don't you, and it's nothing to do with pythons! And 83. 83? I won't even let my mind go there, well not for more than a couple of minutes anyway! You must not have checked out that number on some of the shadier Web sites out there!
Anyway, if I don't receive the solutions to ALL your puzzle caches within 12 hours, all your geobuddies are going to learn the unfortunate connotations of CFs and what 83 really means.
Email from CrunchyFrog83 to Seawind : Good to hear from you (again)! OK, I give. Meet me behind the old warehouse on Columbia at 11 PM and you'll get the works. Oh, I won't actually be there, but my good friend Buster will be. Take (lots) of care!
Hustle #17 Poster Girl
Hi, Knitgurl. I'm a Garmin rep and we have a new program in the works for geocachers just like you! You could be our poster girl! I see you have solved the famous local puzzle You'll Never Get It! All I need is a photo of you smiling triumphantly and holding your Garmin with the puzzle solution coordinates prominently displayed and you will be famous and did I mention the $500 thank you gift?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hi Mr. G. You wouldn't actually be Seawind would you? I've been hearing lots of things lately. I need proof first!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thanks for being cautious! Yes, I can prove I work here at Garmin. DON'T actually do this, but here's a secret Garmin trick: Hold down the power button, Menu and Find simultaneously for 15 minutes and your unit will burn itself up! I'm not supposed to tell anyone about that, so it's just our secret!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
That's amazing. The coordinates are N 45 34.256 W 122 51.822. When can I expect the $500?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It'll go out with our next billing cycle on February 30. Cheers!
Hustle #18 Data Aggregation / Partners in Crime
In which Seawind (disguised and using the name SocialMisfit) enlists the aid of three accomplices at a big geocaching event in Hillsboro:
Accomp 1: Hey, BlueMoth, I see you found that new puzzle, Elementary. Did you find a good place to park for that?
Seawind: You're BlueMoth, right? That new puzzle you found - which direction did you come in from? I had a hard time getting very close.
Accomp 2: Hi Moth! Good job on Elementary! Was that in the park? Which corner, do you remember? My GPS was acting up!
Accomp 3: Good to see you again! Hey, for Elementary, was that by the bench or the light post? I had to give up on that one!
The Last Hustle - Crashed
Email from Seawind to Orange Crash : Hey, I can't get on the Geocaching site today. Can you get in?
Email from Orange Crash to Seawind : Yeah, no problem. Have you tried turning your computer on and then off? In the meantime, I've heard that ice climbing, deep-sea spelunking and freight train hopping are all good alternatives to geocaching! Oh, and there's a great cache waiting for you at N 31 35.873 W 170 27.954!
Verify your solution using this Checker.
If you need help, be extra careful in how you word the request!
Don't forget to make a note of the clues on the cache log. You will need them to solve The Atoz Sequence!