FTF: Kidnap Victim Rescued by Passerby Traditional Cache

A young woman was kidnapped and confined in a tower in the forest located near the Woodlands. After many months of imprisonment, a passerby heard her cries for assistance and rescued her. Authorities are asking for the public’s assistance in locating the perpetrator of the kidnapping. A police artist has created reasonable renderings of the suspect.

Editor’s Note: The information contained herein is derived from the most reliable faux news available.